Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
The Five Outfits You Wear In College
May 5, 2009
- This is the quintessential lounging around the dorm ensemble, when you might be able to put on your jeans but can't quite manage the rest of an outfit, thus completing it with just a bathrobe. Throw in some comfy socks or even just flip-flops et voila even if you were rich and famous you would be lounging around some fancy hotel in these clothes. Technically this is kind of Hugh Hefner's usual get-up.
The fake clothes come in when, for whatever reason, you have to actually leave the dorm for a brief period of time perhaps to buy some milk or quickly hop in your car to meet your dealer and score some weed. This outfit usually involves some kind of sweats, maybe odd shoes (if you can find them) and fuck it, just put your coat on without a shirt. Fact is, you'll be home in about three minutes so you still don't need to be fully dressed.
- Those jeans and that tee, if it's still clean. Oh, the spaghetti sauce is still there. But your hoodie will cover that up. Let's hope the A/C is on.
- Those jeans and that other tee. What is that, a beer stain? Man, maybe it
time to do some laundry actually no, wear the black Led Zeppelin one. You can't see any of the shit on there.
"Dressed To Get Laid Clothes"
- For girls, wear anything. No
. For guys, just wear the sweatshirt of some prestigious and distant college. This way you can tell a chick that you're just visiting a friend, bang her, and then not have to call her.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.