You thought today was just another day. But you were wrong.
Because today, is the day that you will sign in to Facebook, expecting to see pokes, tags and wall call outs in response to your many weekend gaffes.
And you may well find those things. But as you scan your requests, you will find something that will change your Facebook lifestyle forever.
Your mom just friend requested you.
Don't worry. If your response includes any of the following , you are completely normal.
1. Immediate spike in blood pressure
2. Semi-immediate phone calls/text messages to siblings and other family members with the simple question, "Who the &%!* showed my mother how to create a Facebook profile? And which Facebook guru took the time to show her how to find me?!?!"
3. Expletives, followed by promises to quit Facebook forever
But don't worry, I am here to help. And my advice is completely free.
Because, like you, I once used Facebook solely as a medium to post drunken pictures from nightly keg parties in college. But now, thanks to the inevitable acceptance of change by most of our parents, my mom no longer thinks that being on Facebook is "not such a great idea." She has a profile.. and hourly status updates.
Yes, this is the same woman who paid for AOL until 2008.
I feel your pain. And I have some quick, easy solutions for the fiber-optic-cable-powered, social network nightmare that is Facebook.com.
3 Ways to Share Facebook with Your Mother
1. Block your mom from seeing your wall/photos. Beware, the truly Facebook-savy mother will likely ask, "How come you don't have a wall?!?" And if you have other relatives/mutual friends on Facebook, blocked albums may still see their day in court.
2. Edit (one-by-one) all posts/photos. I know, this may require one-by-one editing of 3-4 years of college posts to the tune of "Hey slut, you ready to get wasted tonight!?" And a solid night of de-tagging those keg stand pictures you once proudly promoted to Profile Pic!
3. Remove your wall/photos altogether. This option may be your best bet if you are still in college. Facebook wall post paranoia is rough. Add in that smart phones now give your drunken friends the ability to ruin your mother's perception of you at any hour of the day, and you may never sleep again.
So you have three choices: Block, Edit or Remove.
The choice is yours. But, regardless of which option you roll with, make sure you inform your friends of your parental social networking dilemma. You can't legitimately get mad at someone for writing "Thanks for the anal!" as a joke if they don't know that your birthgiver will read it in 20 seconds.