1. They can't make sound effects with their mouths.
Why, according to her: What are you talking about? She so can make sound effects. Guns go "pew pew." Explosions go "schploom." Dead on.
Why, according to reality: Because girls can't hear what they sound like. That's also why they think those shrill exclamations they make in bars are adorable and that those derogatory remarks they make in public about your eating habits are quiet.
2. After the end of a long-term relationship, they get an unflattering haircut.
Why, according to her: Because it will signify independence and is just so much more practical and she's always wanted to do it, so why not now, right?
Why, according to reality: Because her heinous new 'do will give her something else to regret besides the 2 years and 64 compromising pictures she allowed whatshisname to have.
3. They think they look cute in baseball shirts.
Why, according to her: That thing? Oh, no, that is just her gross shirt. Why? Do you like it?
Why, according to reality: She thinks it gives her an I-just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-threw-this-on-and-transformed-into-the-girl-next-door-you-want-to-marry-and-play-videogames-with-for-the-rest-of-your-life look. She doesn't realize it just gives her mannish shoulders.
4. They will lie about having seen certain movies.
Why, according to her: I have seen Red River and Chinatown. I totally have. Oh yeah, The Man Who Would Be King is awesome.
Why, according to reality: For the most part they are not lying in order to maliciously mislead you. They just lied while flirting once and they forgot what was true and what wasn't. Why else do you think so many urban legends happened to a friend of that girl from your freshman hall?
5. They make a specific, weird face when they look at themselves in mirrors.
Why, according to her: Oh, girls totally do that. She doesn't, but you should see the face her mom makes. She like sticks out her lips and raises her eyebrows. It actually makes her look uglier and she refuses to admit that she does it. So weird.
Why, according to reality: Like most illogical habits that they deny, they learn it from their moms.