He wakes up at 11:30 a.m after staying up till 4 in the morning. Opens up the shades to attempt to get out of his drowsiness

Damn it's nice outside. Ya know, I think I feel like going for a run today. Yeah, I gotta burn off that bag of Doritos from last night, not to mention all the beer.

He brushes the thin layer of dust off of his running shoes, puts them on and steps outside into thesun.

A good 30 minutes or so should be fine.

He starts off strong,feeling the warm summer breeze with every step.

Heh, now this isn't so bad, I have to do this more often.

He makes his way down the street and takes a left down another, seeing neighbors along the way.

Man, I must look so good right now. I have my nice running shoes, sunglasses, Ipod, and college T-shirt that's a little small to show off my pecs and abs. Running is a piece of cake.

7 minutes of running pass, and he's starting to get pretty winded.¼/span>

Oh god, I'm already breathing heavier than a 400-pound woman in labor. What the hellllllllll.

10 minutes of running go by, and by now he's running on one of the nearby main roads.

Throat is so dry… I feel my saliva glands are producing cotton. Need to walk. No fuck that, too many cars going by — there could be some hot girl i know driving by and I don't wanna look like the pussy who walks during a run. Fuck my legshurt.

15 minutes have elapsed

How do people run when their legs feel like Jell-o? I feel like I'm Gumby.¼/span>

I think I'm getting my second wind! Yeah this is sweet!!

Ok that was quick, ow my legs.

Why is it that whenever I drive around there are little kids with lemonade stands, but today the streets are deserted?

20 minutes go by

Shit I need to get home. Fuck running. Worst idea ever. It's hot as balls out here, I think I might have a heat stroke.š

On the home stretch

Allllmost there! I really need to put Chariots of Fireon my Ipod for moments like these, or at least the song from The Sandlot where Benny runs from the beast.

He walks up the front steps and immediately heads for the shower, where he spends the next 30 minutes profusely sweating while water beats down on his head. He begins to recover, and gains motivation to exercise again one day.

Heroes are remembered, but legends never die