Oh man, that sex ed teacher was so hot….When she kept talking about hormones I just wanted to bone her so hard oh hey now, whats going on down there? No. Do not touch it. That absolutely cannot happen. Although, she did say its perfectly natural to be curious about your own sexuality…"We all have urges and it's OK to pursue them", she did say that. NO! You can not touch it, you know what will happen. I swear her tunic was thisclose to falling off GOD DAMNIT MIDAS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

Cybele: Midas are you alright?

Midas: Fine Mom!

Cybele: Are you sure? It sounded like whimpering coming from your room.

Midas: Nope! Goodnight!

Cybele: Goodnight.

OK, OK, you got it under control. Everything's back to normal. Crisis averted. Now just go to sleep, and you'll never have to worry about this ever again.

(1 minute later)

Hey remember when Hermodike smiled at me today.

(30 seconds later)

Cybele: Where are you going?

Midas: The river Pactolus.

Cybele: Why are you walking with your back to me? And why are you holding that stone tablet like that?

Midas: None of your business, that's why.

King Gordias: What was that all about?

Cybele: Midas just tried masturbating for the fourth time in three hours.

King Gordias: Soon he shall be King.