You go to class…











Stoned Drunk In a World Ruled by Robots
…and macroeconomics is suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.  Furthermore, that pie chart looks delicious.



…and get kicked out of the room for punching the TA in the face.  But whatever.  He was asking for it, dude.  He was looking at you all funny and shit.



…only to find that class has been cancelled.  Why would the robots possibly need econ majors when they can process millions of numerical equations a second?  They don’t.  You are sent where you’re needed the most: straight to the depths of the ore mines.







You get a phone call from your parents…












Stoned
Drunk
In a World Ruled by Robots
…and can’t stop thinking about the way your mom says “February.”  I mean, she says it like the isn't silent.  What’s up with that?  And why do you keep repeating it to her?  Now the is all that you can hear.  Maybe it isn't silent.  No, wait, that's not right.  it's totally silent.  Dude, what the hell are you even talking about? …and they immediately figure out that you are drunk.  Luckily, it’s your dad who does most of the talking, and he’s drunk too.  You convince him to send you a hundred dollars for books, but you both know where that money’s going.  He’s an alright dude, your dad.  He is alright.



…telling you that your little sister was killed by the robots.  Those filthy, bloodthirsty robots.




You get pulled over by the cops…











Stoned Drunk In a World Ruled by Robots
… “Sir, are you aware that you’re driving erratically?”



“I’m in a CAR?”
… Wait, fuck that.  You’re not getting pulled over.  If these cops want you, they’re going to have to come get you.  They’re highly-trained law enforcement officials, you’re seen The Fast and the Furious eighteen times.  Let’s do this. ….and are informed that the penalty for being out after curfew is death.  Efficient, strangely beautiful robot death.





You go for a walk through a bad part of town…











Stoned Drunk In a World Ruled by Robots
…and freak out.  Sure, it’s 8 in the morning, but that dog barking kind of sounds like a guy yelling “DIEDIEDIE!” and it’s creeping you the hell out.  It’s like that dog from that movie, Cujo?  Cujo was fucked up, dude!  Oh, fuck, get out of there, man!  Run!  RUN LIKE THE WIND! …and don’t even give two shits.  You’re been doing Jager shots all night, and everybody knows that after nine of those things, you’re pretty much invincible.  You learn that the truth is slightly different, however, when you’re stabbed eleven times.  When you get out of the hospitatl you tell all your friends that it was twenty times and your arm was, “like, hanging off” when you kicked those ninja’s asses.  There are no bad parts of town.  The robots took care of that – oh yes, they took care of that.





Someone picks a fight with you…











Stoned Drunk In a World Ruled by Robots
…and you accept his challenge, because it’s impossible to really get hurt when you’re sitting on the couch playing Street Fighter. …about which one of you is drunker.  This is a fight that somehow ends with both of you both winning and losing. Seriously?  Have you ever fought a robot?  Pretty much any way you play it, your face is going to end up looking pretty different.  And by looking different, I mean converted into robot fuel.




You watch Terminator 2…












Stoned Drunk In a World Ruled by Robots
…and it is awesome. …and it is awesome. …and it is awesome — though at the end of this version, John Connor dies.  But that kid was kind of a tool anyway.




You check CollegeHumor.com…












Stoned Drunk In a World Ruled by Robots
…and spend 45 minutes watching an hilarious video before you realize it is actually just one of the banner ads. …and leave comments on absolutely everything.  Then you've still got a few opinions you need to share, so you leave comments on a few things that you aren't even supposed to, like the computer screen and your roommate's face.  (comment: "8==D")
…and masturbate furiously to the Cute College Robot of the Week.  Man, check out those ports. She's so cute it gigahurts!