Here at the English Department, we know writing. You might say we have the "write" stuff. Put our knowledge to the test; you'll find we know our "write" from our left, and will get you on the "write" track.

Our teachers are all "write." They believe in Civil "Writes," even though "write" men can't jump. For example: the woman's "Write" to Choose is important to us (Disclaimer: The English Department takes no stance in the ongoing debate over abortion). You've got to fight for your "write" to write. If proper spelling is wrong, we don't want to be "write." In fact, we're so wrong we're "write."

We're the "Writes" of the Round Table, and a bunch of "write" wing conspirators (Disclaimer: The English Department is not affiliated with any particular political party or philosophy). Even Jimmy Walker says: "The English Department is dy-no-write!" Come on down: you're the next contestant on The Price is "Write." Writers belong here like Icelandic singer Bjork belongs in her home town of Writejavik, or like Hitler belonged in the Third "Write." So do the "write" thing and come in "write" away. We're located to the "write" of the library. "Write" on! We're the "Write" Brothers of writing.

Skyrockets in flight, afternoon de-write.