11:39 p.m.: Arrive at party
11:53 p.m.: Begin drinking heavily
11:54 p.m.-12:27 a.m.: Mingle
12:28 -12:46 a.m.: Shmooze
12:47 a.m.: Face and hands go numb
12:48 -1:05 a.m.: Talk to strangers, convinced thatI know them "from somewhere or something ."
1:06 a.m.: Make new friends!
1:07 -1:10 a.m.: Talk to cute (I hope) girl by the fire
1:11 a.m.: Rejection!
1:12 a.m.: Angry boyfriend!
1:13 -2:00 a.m.: No more shit to mix the rum with, that's for pussies. Real men drink straight from the bottle
2:01 a.m.: Girl says she needs to use someone's car. Give her the keys
2:02 a.m.: Climb tree
2:03 a.m.: Throw things at people from tree
2:04 a.m.: Fall out of said tree
Unknown: Wake up in fire pit
Unknown: Vomit uncontrollably
9:31 a.m.: Wake up covered in vomit and blood only to discover that my car is missing and I can't remeber who I gave the keys to
9:32 a.m.: Waffles!