Office. JENNA approaches ADRIENNE.

Hey Adrienne, did you notice anything different about Scott today?

Adrienne looks over to SCOTT at his desk. Scott is short, fat, bald, pimply, GROSS.

Is that boil on his face gone?
(looks closer)
No…it's still there.

But today…I want to suck on his boil.

Eww! Do you want to hook up with Scott!/center>
Scott stands up. REVEAL: he has a big BUDGE in his pants.

…Because I call dibs. Wait! What's wrong with me!?

It's him. Something's bulgingly different.

And do you smell that manly aroma…coming from his…pants…

Do you think he'll want to have a threesome with us?

I sure hope so…

I'm so hungry for Scott. But why

Lights go down. SPOTLIGHT on Scott while he RAPS.

Listen up my uncool Guys,
I've found a way to be so fly,
Even though I have pimples
on my face and on my thighs,
I've found a loophole, no jokes, no lies.
Every lady in the house
wants to fuck me that's a fact,
Know why? – I'll tell you "
there's a salami in my pants.

Scott does a GYRATING DANCE.

I know what you're thinkin'
That sausage's surely stinkin'
It's weighin' on my ball sack,
It's makin' me sweat,
But I'll tell ya,
no worries "
The sweating's makin' me so dirty
My stench is attracting the opposite sex:

Adrienne and Jenna run over to Scott, fondling him.

Vegans, Puerto Ricans, only hotties, crazy bodies
I don't care,
be prepared, your gunna lose your underwear,
Cuz my irresista-licious style
stems from my lips and my saliva.

Adrienne SNIFFS Scotts pants.

I'll make you scream, I'll make you shout,
I A+ will eat you out.
But in fucking I get an F,
Never touch my dick, Bitch,
I'll smack you in the head.

Jenna grabs at Scott's dick, Scott smacks her.

Forever and a day,
This, my sausage mystery stays.
Too terrible to bare the truth –

Adrienne yanks down Scott's pants " Scott wears a SALAMI SAUSAGE attached to a JOCK STRAP. Adrienne yanks off the sausage to reveal Scott's TINY DICK:

- Holy crap,
you're dick is the size of my canine tooth.

Does dick size really matter
when you're screaming in orgasmic pleasure?

You freak, yeah it does.
And that salami was my lunch.

Adrienne holds out the salami.

Still want to have a three-some, Jenna?

Yeah of course! More than ever.
But…without the smell it's not the same…

Scott grabs the Salami from Adrienne – reattaches it to his Jock strap. Adrienne and Jenna breathe in deeply.

That aroma! I think I just came.

Me too…let's go:

Adrienne and Jenna lead Scott to the broom closet:

There you have it fellow men of unfortunate deformations,
The meat section in the grocery store, is your erotic destination.