The US Army recently cancelled their free-to-play series of recruitment videogames. Here's why:
An army briefing room. A four-star general enters with Herman, a pimply, greasy fifteen-year-old.
General: Men, meet Herman Wallace. He's topped the America's Army leadboard for the past five months, and we believe he is our best and brightest hope of winning this war.
Herman: Sup losers.
The Middle East, a few weeks later:
Marine Sargeant: Commander Wallace! Insurgents have the compound surrounded. What are your orders?
Herman: OK, first thing, we need some health packs.
Herman: Big white boxes with a red cross on them. Trust me, you do not want to get shot without one of those ready.
Sargeant: Sir, I'm not sure-
Herman: Fine, health packs later. Just find the rocket launcher, OK? Judging from the design of this level, it should be on that warehouse roof.
Sergeant: Sir, we could have brought a rocket launcher from base, no need to go scrambling-
Herman: Dammit, am I surrounded by n00bs? At least tell me someone is going after their flag.
Enemy fires pins down the marines.
Herman: Quick! I just unlocked the "Uber Headshot" achievement, I can take these guys.
The Sargeant reluctanly hands him a rifle.
Herman: Hm. Are all the guns this heavy?
BANG. The gun accidentally goes off, hitting the Private.
Herman: Ah! I didn't know it was, uh, bullet-filled.
Private: Tell my wife- I love her.
Sargeant: Damn it, James, you're going to live through this! MEDIC!
Herman: Told you we should have found health packs.