It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Hey Rob, sorry about smearing, I mean, accidentally getting spaghetti sauce all over your favorite, expensive white shirt today. Maybe that wouldn't happen if you didn't leave your dirty rotting dishes all over the apartment. Don't worry, I rinsed it off
in the toilet. The toilet which hasn't been cleaned forever because it's your turn and you still haven't done it. Enjoy.
Jake Campbell, UCLA
A year back, we had these two neighbors who were absolute pricks. Playing drums terribly until 4am, throwing empty bottles on our lawn, stuff like that. Anyway, they crashed my brother's 21st party, absolutely smashed, and started going on about how he wasn't human because he was gay. They drank all the booze, groped some of the girls, made absolute nuisances out of themselves and then passed out. Still pissed off for ruining my brother's special day, I dragged them outside, onto their lawn, pulled off their clothes and then positioned them so that they were spooning. As a final touch, I dropped some sticky stuff around their hips and donated their clothes to charity. They moved away a week later. My parents bought me a Wii as a thank you.
Anonymous, Macquarie University
When I was in sophomore year my 2 friends played a prank on me by calling me late at night as an old dude and saying that my name was on a website listed for giving sexual favors and do all kinds of nasty things. This continued for about 3 days that I was getting calls and all the calls showed up as restricted numbers. They were playing the same prank on one of their cousins too and his cousin found out about it and got in touch with me, explaining to me how these 2 were pulling pranks on me. Next time my friend tried to pull the same prank on me I had connected the phone to my computer so I could record the whole conversation. As the conversation proceeded my friends cousin joined in and said that he was a cop and had traced the number and would be charged for harrassment and other things. The friend was so afraid since the cellphone was in the name of his uncle and he was a foreign student. He got so afraid that he was going to get deported. So he came up to me and his cousin and confessed all about it he also changed his number told his uncle that he lost the phone, but actually destroyed it. He came up asking for me to pull the cops off him but I told him I couldn't since the cop had already contacted the agency about what was going on and promised me that he would make sure to get him deported. We never confessed to him about it and for next month he was so afraid that the only time he came back to his room was when he had to sleep. Instead he kept roaming all over the city doing nothing in fear that some cop would actually show up.
A.B., School Not Given
Your pubes are on the soap, cause you never wash them off, and I never say a thing. There's wrappers on the floor, and you never do the dishes, and I never say a thing. Well
I'll move your bookmark to a different page, I'll let your hamster out of it's cage. I'll call you names when you've just left the room. I'll draw mustaches on pictures of you. Passive Vengeance. You haven't got a job, and you owe me for the rent, and I never do a thing. You always eat my food, and you're hogging up the shower, and I never do a thing. Well, I'll put a scratch on your favorite CD. I'll tell your friends that you watch CMT. I'll steal your change that you dropped on the floor. I won't tell you when I go to the store.You wont see this coming at all. Calculated retribution. You will feel me indirectly. Retaliation, Justice will be dealt. Because I Farted on your door handle. You've got more coming. I took your roll of toilet paper. No mercy. I gave your dog diarrhea. You've got more coming. I threw away your phone charger. So take that bitch. You had enough bitch? You want more bitch? Can you prove it was me? That's called passive vengeance.No direct confrontation at all.
Ezra T., School Not Given
My sophomore year in college my roommate and I scored an awesome three bedroom house with a back yard and pool. We looked for a third roommate all summer with very specific description of our place. I was an engineering student and he was pre-med, and both bartenders. We had a very work hard party hard attitude with rules about not smoking weed in our house. With many people willing to live there we decided to have another engineer, Eric, live with us, who had promised to follow all of our rules. One week into the semester he changed major to English, became a slob and started smoking in our apartment. We decided to start taking his weed stash every night, not well hidden, and throw it away. After that didn't work we pissed in his bong; however he wasn't deterred. Finally we convinced him to go on a semester abroad to get him out of the house the rest of the year. To do so, we would just get him drunk and have him fill out the papers. Once his parents committed the money
he had no choice. I hope you enjoy your semester in Egypt.
P. R., University of Texas