Dream: You can go up to any girl and tell her you are French, and no matter what your native language is she will believe you, and she will sleep with you.

Reality: The first girl you walk up to will always be the girl majoring in French, and the rest of your time here you will be known as the-creepy-European-dude-who-is-definitely-not-French. It is not a very clever nickname but it will be yours nonetheless.


Dream: Everyone will be interested in you because you come from a different culture.

Reality: No one will be interested in you when you run out of dirty words to teach them.


Dream: Everyone loves those scented candles you brought with you to remind you of home. They've never smelt anything so good.

Reality: Everyone hates those scented candles you brought with you, and pretty soon your RA will tell you that the other students are complaining that they've never smelt anything so horrible since… ever.


Dream: Denmark? Yeah I've heard of it. H. C. Andersen, beautiful country, beautiful people. I love both the people and the pastry.

Reality: Denmark? Den-Mark? D-E-N-M-A-R-K? I think I know it, it's in Asia right? No? That's right, I mean Africa of course. Europe? Really? I could have sworn it was a state in Australia.


Dream: "Your accent is so funny; you should be a stand-up comedian."

Reality: "BOOOOOO! Get off the stage, no one understands you!"


Dream: "Oh I didn't realize that you were from Europe, where it is legal to get into pubs and drink at age 18, so of course you can drink while you are staying in the states."

Reality: "The court sentences you to 50 hours of community service for underage drinking"