Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
I work as a concierge at a fancy retirement home, so I'm running in and out of people's rooms a lot. The other day I went into a resident's room to give him some paperwork and he was sitting about 8 feet away from his big-screen TV watching soft-core porn with binoculars. He didn't seem to mind me witnessing this and signed the papers without even turning off the TV.
I am a high school history teacher in Sonoma, California. Today I was teaching the students about the Ancient Israelites. I had them do a warmup by writing all they knew about Judaism in a paragraph. One kid wrote nothing. I came over and asked her the easy question, "Well, do you know where the Hebrews lived?" as a way to get an answer out of her. She replied very seriously, "Aren't they from Switzerland?"
. I have to teach these kids for the rest of the school year.
This overweight chocolate lab came into the doggy daycare place I work at today. It turns out this lab had eaten the owner's wallet earlier in the day and wanted to let him know if we could recover anything. Sure enough, the dog threw up several unidentifiable items along with a 5 dollar bill that had been ripped into at least 10 different pieces. This guy I work with picked through the vomit and managed to find and tape all the pieces together. He said it was worth it.
-Forrest, University of Colorado
My friend was telling me a story about this mom and her kids at the mall he works at. Apparently the kids were playing on one of those rides that just move around, while ignoring their mothers orders to get off so they could leave. This is when she said "Last one to the car is gay" and both kids immediately sprinted off the ride and to the car.
-Kay, Ball State University
I worked at a Yacht Club over the summer and it wasn't really a bad job. One of my jobs although was to use the Pump Out boat on members and customers boats. The boat pumps the piss and sh*t out of the bigger boats so that they don't have to go out in the ocean. This one day a guy pulls up with his trashy wife and kid in an old sh*tty boat. He requests to put 50 bucks in the gas tank and for a pump out. I pump the gas and move the pump out boat around to his boat. While pumping the hose came unbuckled and i got sprayed with God knows what. The guy says thanks and doesn't give me a tip. As I pulled back around he quickly started his boat and sped off without paying for the gas. I had to pay for his gas.
-John, Florida State