Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
After graduating college with a degree in psychology I got a job with a pest control company. I show up at a store to do a service and the lady working there asks me if I am the Terminator. I calmly explain to her that I am from the future.
I work for a local pizza place delivering pizzas. On one delivery, I get to the house, and when the customer opens the door, there is a 4 or 5 year old little boy behind the woman saying, "thank you pizza man, thank you, thank you," and proceeds to give me a hug. So being a generally nice guy and someone that likes kids, i hug him back, and tell him you're welcome. That's not the bad part. The total for the order was $24.16. While this lady is looking for the money in her purse, the little boy has a dollar in his hand and was trying to give it to me. But his mom slapped his hand away and told him to keep his dollar. She gave me $25 and closed the door. Her 4 year old son was going to give me a bigger tip than she did.
I work at an Auntie Anne's in a small town mall. I was finishing up the pre-closing dishes when an old lady (probably 65-70) came up and asked me in front of a crowd of people "if the pretzels were as fresh as I was".
I work at a retirement home as a dishwasher. I was setting tables during the daily entertainment hour (3-4). The day's entertainment was a faux-auction using fake money. At one point in the auction, they item up for bid was a bulk package of adult diapers, but they weren't even real diapers. They were like undergarment pads. Nobody bid on it, but after everyone left, a few of the residents shuffled over to the boxes and started stuffing the 'diapers' into their walkers.
I work at a go-kart track. Over the span of a month I was involved in two accidents. First, a small boy ran me down as I tried to stop him for driving erratically, when I came to, I spent the afternoon calling my house 6 times, trying to convince my little brother that my parents hadn't told me they were leaving for Vancouver that morning. After coming back to work after the concussion and collecting workers comp, I went out on the track to test out a kart that was acting funny, being the only car on the track I didn't wear much safety gear aside from a helmet. I hit a pilon and it sent the kart flipping over leaving me to slide across the asphalt at 50 mph. as the kart landed on top of me
-Tyson, University of Guelph
I work for a large retail bookstore chain in San Francisco, and many of our clientele are very peculiar. Last year, a man walked up to an information booth to let the clerk know that he just stepped in some feces in the children's section. A manager was alerted, and an inspection of the floor revealed little pieces of poop all over the floor. He had our store security check the in-store surveillance cameras, which immediately showed the man who complained walking around the store with a little bag of human poop, depositing it all throughout the floor. By the time this little fact was realized, the 'customer' had already left.