It's Halloween again, which means it's time to try and come up with some ideas for an original costume that will entertain your friends, seduce your crushes and devastate your rivals. But please, during your quest for the perfect outfit, stay away from these five costumes. Chances are, they'll be all over the place.
What better way to pay homage to Maurice Sendak's timeless work than by dressing up like the main character, getting drunk and throwing up all over yourself? With the recently-released "Wild Things" movie enjoying huge popularity, there are sure to be more than a few homemade Max/wolf costumes this year. It's easy, it's comfortable and it lets the wearer feel edgy and hip without the fear of actually alienating anyone.
Better Suggestion: Build a 12-foot animatronic "Wild Thing" puppet and pay James Gandolfini to record every possible response you would say at a party. Wear the puppet and communicate using only the pre-taped lines.
4. Balloon Boy
Millions of lazy Halloween enthusiasts breathed a collective sigh of relief when Falcon dropped from the sky (only figuratively speaking, of course). With the Balloon Boy still fresh in the public consciousness, expect to see a whole lot of normally-dressed people tied to some balloons trying to pass it off as a "costume". It's the laziest topical costume of the year.
Better Suggestion: Dress up as Meredith Vieira and get a bunch of your friends together to play all the members of Falcon's family (don't forget the terrifyingly insane father!). All night long, re-enact the moment when Falcon accidentally revealed the whole thing was a hoax and threw up on national television!
3. Lady GaGa
While most of us didn't know she existed last Halloween, Lady GaGa has exploded with popularity over the past year. And thanks to her "throw together some garbage from the Jim Henson Creature Shop dumpster" fashion sense, this year all the single ladies can basically wear whatever nonsensical-yet-revealing outfit they want and say that they're Ms. Disco Stick herself.
Better Suggestion: Dress in normal clothes and tell everyone you're "Stefani Germanotta" (Lady GaGa's real name). If people don't get the joke, just dance.
2. Jon, Kate, and 8 (in any combination)
Although "Jon and Kate Plus 8" may be officially canceled, Jon's smug grin and Kate's Gozer-like haircut will live on in our memories for years to come. Or at least until Octomom's kids learn to look at the camera in the confessional room. This costume has a lot of potential to be fun because the "Jon and Kate" mythos is so rich with material. Someone could buy 8 baby dolls on the cheap and carry them on a leash all night. A guy could wear an Ed Hardy shirt and show up with a trashy girl half his age and go as "post-divorce Jon." But while the possibilities may be endless, it's just enough already with this family.
Better Suggestion: Go as a different cable-TV reality star. Just not the Kardashians. Or anyone from "The Hills." Or Tim Gunn. Actually, forget it.
1. Tie: Zombies vs. Dead Celebrities
After this year's Summer of Celebrity Death, it's understandable that people would want to pay their respects to the likes of Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze and Billy Mays. We miss our famous friends and want to ensure their legacies live on. Plus, it's totally easy to get some cheap laughs off those dead chumps. On the other hand, zombies have emerged as the current hot monster thanks to "Zombieland," (see ya, Edward) and people will absolutely be looking to capitalize on the fad. Due to this planetary alignment of pop culture, be on the lookout for legions of celebrity zombies roaming the party circuit this Halloween. Zombie MJ from the "Thriller" video, Patrick Swayze as a "Ghost"
there are so many ways to disrespect the dead this year.
Better Suggestion: Dress up as the clown from the end of "Zombieland"
Man, that thing was awesome.
Whatever you decide to wear this Halloween, just remember: It's not about having the funniest costume or showing the most skin. It's about pretending you're someone else for just one night in order to escape your own insecurities in a haze of sin. Happy Halloween!