Thanksgiving Day 2064, a kid sits down next to his grandfather who is sitting by himself staring introspectively into the glowing, crackling fire blazing in the fireplace.



Kid: Hey Grandpa.

Grandpa: (silence)

Kid: Grandpa?

Grandpa (looks at the kid): Oh, hey kiddo.

Kid: Whats wrong Grandpa?

Grandpa (turning from the kid and back to the fire): Do you know what tomorrow is?

Kid: Friday?

Grandpa: Tomorrow is Black Friday…

Kid: What's Black Friday?

Grandpa(quickly looks at the kid): What's Black Friday!? Only the most horrid and despicable day of the year! Fathers pitted against sons, husbands pitted against wives, brothers forced to fight tooth and nail against each other! So much bloodshed!

Kid: That sounds terrible! What were they fighting over?

Grandpa: Microwaves…

Kid: Microwaves?

Grandpa: Microwaves, televisions, laptops, Blu-Ray players… even (gulps) Zunes!

Kid: So it was a day where everyone goes shopping?

Grandpa:Shopping!? More like a no rules battle royale for LCD screens and Xboxs! I've seen a man rip another man's ear off as they both raced toward a two in one DVD/VCR player combination! The humanity!

Kid: So if it is so awful, why did people do it?

Grandpa: Just like the graphics in Modern Warfare 2, the savings are CRAZY

Kid: So all these people fought each other to save money on… things?

Grandpa: A flat screen 48 inch TV for 299.99!? How could people resist? You know, I fought in Black Friday.

Kid: What was it like?

Grandpa:The year: 2004. It was around 3:30 Friday morning at the Super Wal-Mart on route 6. We hard already been there for an hour, the taste of leftover turkey still lingering in out mouths; reminding us of the home we had left to pursue fortune and glory. There were many in front of us who had been there for far longer than we, their faces emotionless and vacant, anticipating the carnage to come.

Kid: Wal-Mart? Like the big bright thing in the sky?

Grandpa:Well before Wal-Mart bought it, it was called the moon, but yes the same Wal-Mart. Anyway, all of the sudden, the darkness was pierced by a bright, white light emanating from behind the glass doors of the storefront. Far off in the distance, I saw the doors swing open and the crowd surged toward the entrance. I looked at my friend Scooter who had come a long with me and we knew what we had to do.

Kid: You have a friend named Scooter?

Grandpa: Had. I had a friend named Scooter. We forged ahead, our arms interlocked, pushing through the seas of people with one goal in mind. To buy Halo 2, the greatest game we had ever seen.

Kid: Halo 2? Wow Grandpa, you really are old. I beat Halo 92: Covered in Covenant last week—

Grandpa:Suddenly, the crowd surged left, and then right, and then left again.We tried to hold on to one another as hard as we could, but the immense strength of the leviathan that was the panicked mass racing toward the car stereo section, ripped us apart. The last thing I saw was his outreached hand disappear into an ocean of crazed shoppers. In shock due to the loss of my friend and delirious due to lack of sleep and an excess of turkey, I blacked out and let fate take control.

Kid: Grandpa, you're scaring me…

Grandpa:Listen son, until you've looked into the eyes of a woman who has let her daughter get mercilessly trampled in order to be the first in line for a toaster that sends you a text message when your bagel is toasted, you haven't yet experienced true fear.

Kid: I think I'm going to go…

Grandpa:(grabs the kid by his arm): When I came to, I realized I was in the video game section; in front of me, the last copy of Halo 2! I grabbed it and hobbled to the checkout counter. She asked, "Debit or credit?"
"Blood Money…" I responded as I handed her the money Scooter had given me for his half of the game. To this day, over sixty years later, I still play Halo 2. Gamertag: Scooter21-04.

Kid: Mom! Mom!

Mom: Oh Grandpa! Stop scaring everyone with your urban legends. Listen sweetie (to her son), Black Friday is just a myth; an old story that people like Grandpa use to scare little kids. Nothing that brutal could ever have existed. Ever. Now go play cowboys vs. space indians with your cousin.