Situation: Not Doing the Dishes
 


Hers: "Someone left their dishes in the sink! Someone who eats Lucky Charms! Didn't you buy Lucky Charms? I really don't want to point fingers, I want to share the responsibilities of living together, but it just upsets me when people don't respect my space and thus, don't respect me. We can all be adults about this and talk it out. If it doesn't change, I'm going to schedule a mediation with the RA."

His: "Whoa, check out this mold! Cool!"



Situation: Keeping the Lights/Music on Late

Hers: "Hey, um, so, I noticed your light is still on, and it's, like, 3AM."
"I'm just having a hard time falling asleep."
"Oh my God, is there something you need to talk about?! Is this about Brad? It is, isn't it."
"I don't understand why he doesn't want to be with me!"
"You're so much better than him! I'm coming over there and we are spooning until you feel better!"

His: "Shut off that fucking light or I will smother you to death with this pillow once you do finally fall asleep."




Situation: Not Cleaning the Bathroom

Hers: "Help! The tub isn't draining because of all of this mold! I don't understand how it happened, I cleaned the bathroom last Saturday and then this Saturday…as long as you cleaned it…this shouldn't be happening! Maybe we have an extreme drainage mold problem and we need to call maintenance! That is…if you cleaned on Saturday like the bathroom chart said you were supposed to…"

His: "Isn't your mom visiting this weekend? Do you think you can get her to clean the bathroom?"




Situation: Using Your Stuff

Hers: "Someone is using my bath towels because I keep finding them folded a different way. I really don't want to make things weird, I'm sure it's my problem, but it bothers me…I don't want to resort to writing a passive-aggressive article on College Humor so you get the picture!"

His: "Dude, seriously. Is that my towel?"
"My bad. Wanna play XBox?"
"Sure."





Situation: Bringing Home a Special Friend


Hers: "Nice!"

His: "Nice."