Denial- "I'm a fun guy, there is no way that my winter break is going to be anything less than an enjoyable experience for my high school friends and I. This break is going to be so crazy and full of adventure that people will probably think Todd Phillips directed it. I'm not going to miss college at all."

Anger- "What do you mean you can't hang out tonight? I just saw you drive past my house, I even waved. Oh no, you are not going to ditch me again, not like last night.  I don't care if I have to show up at your front door and beat your sister over the head with a baseball bat signed by Chuck Knoblauch, we are going to hang out tonight and you are going to like it. No, you are going to love it. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I get angry. When I get angry I tend to do things like rip sinks out of walls and poop in urinals, and since I no longer have a dorm bathroom at my disposal there's no telling what I might do at home. So, let me ask you one more time, do you want to hang out tonight?"

Bargaining- "I will do my own laundry if someone has a party tonight. I will make dinner for my entire family if I can get someone to go to the movies with me. I will commit my life to finding the cure for cancer if Andrew Zimmern keeps his shirt on in this episode of "Bizarre Foods."

Depression- "Why did I even come home in the first place? I should have found a way to stay in my dorm room. I knew I should have looked into taking a Winter Session class. But no, I was too busy doing other "important" things. Now my life revolves around daytime television and testing which foods in the kitchen taste good with peanut butter. Did I take the right steps in reestablishing a social life in my hometown? No, I absolutely did not, and that is why I am confined to the cold and lonely existence that is now my life. By the way, everything tastes good with peanut butter."

Acceptance- "It may not be what I expected, but you know what? This break is not a complete failure. I've watched more television and put peanut butter on more things than many could even imagine. Lying around the house may not give me the same enjoyment that I get from going to a rager, but hey, college is just a few weeks away. Plus, it sure as hell beats getting a job."