Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me at dating.itscomplicated[at]gmail.com!
My boyfriend has never heard me pass gas so whenever I go to the bathroom at his apartment he runs up and puts his ear to the door to listen. Super creepy
So my friends and I have been laughing about the whole "Gryffindor is up 10 points" thing. At the same time, my girlfriend and I were getting pretty serious. So last night we finally had sex. She told me she would dump me if I told anyone. Since this was information I could not let pass up, I posted to facebook "Gryfindor is up another 10 points" since I knew my friends would know what that mean. Unfortunately, she reads college humor also.
-Thomas – GA
I bought my girlfriend m&m's for her birthday that were specially printed with a picture of ours on them. I stupidly had them delivered directly to her house. She gave me a call later that night and said she loved the gift. I asked her if she liked the picture on them. She asked, "What picture?" They cost like $20 for a small bag.
This was probably a couple months into my first real relationship, back in high school. My girlfriend and I, had just started getting physical, but since we both still lived at home, we didn't have much privacy. Well we always used to go to my dad's house and "watch TV" in his basement, on a futon. Well one day, we started getting busy under a blanket when my dad came downstairs. She was literally naked from the waist down when he sat down on the futon next to me to talk to us about something. He really wouldn't take the hint that I didn't care about what he had to say and just wanted him to leave. Finally after a few minutes he went back upstairs and we continued, lol.
-Tyler, University of Toledo
So my senior year in high school I was dating this girl for about a year and one fine evening she comes over to the house. My mom was not supposed to be back til around 8. Naturally things start to get heavy and we make our way to the basement bedroom. Halfway through our session I hear the garage door open and my mom walk into the house, it was around 6:30, far earlier than expected. So I leaped off the bed and started looking for my clothes in the dark, I find a pair of jeans thinking they are mine and jump into them. They were her jeans, and as I did this my foot rips a hole in her jeans from the ass to the knee all the while my mom is starting to make her way down the stairs. After quickly getting the clothes situated we wind up having to talk to my mom all the while my girlfriend had to make sure to face my mom and never turn around.
-Tom, University of Kentucky
My girlfriend and I were heading down to San Diego and in all seriousness said, “I can't go I don't have a passport.” We're from Los Angeles.
So I was in college and still had a hometown girlfriend. It's lame I know but I was young and stupid. I always set my trips home when I knew she wasn't on her period so I could at least get some a few weekends a year. It was safe to say I knew her cycles very well and she ran like clock work. One time I went home and we started fooling around. I began fingering her and could feel something inside her that shouldn't have been there. When I brought it up she felt down there, freaked out, and ran to the bathroom. She came back crying saying she had accidentally left a tampon in there and was so embarrassed.
My girlfriend was usually up for some fun in the sack. After I married her, it really picked up. I was getting laid at least 8 or 9 times a week. I thought her libido was finally free of her Catholic guilt. Turns out she just wanted a baby. Now I have a kid. The only action I've had in a week is a hand job that I traded for a back rub.
Me and my girlfriend had just got done having sex and were laying down together. She turns to me and says "if I were to have sex with any animal it would be a dolphin". I asked how she came to that conclusion and she said "I was thinking about bestiality".
My girlfriend's mother has a tendency to occasionally barge into my girlfriend's room without knocking when the two of us are in there. Naturally, this has gotten me a little nervous when we fool around. One night as my girlfriend and I were starting to fool around in her room I reached down and started to finger her. After hearing a noise I stopped. My girlfriend looking into my eyes and asked me, "What's Wrong?" With my finger still inside of her I answered "I'm just thinking about your mom."
This week's "Not true” Award goes to:
A few issues ago you guys posted this little bit, “My girlfriend just said, "It's scary to think that one day octopuses will become people." When I asked her how that was going to happen, she answered, in all seriousness, "Evolution." The girlfriend in this case is right. Scientists believe that down the line when earth becomes uninhabitable for humans. and they presumably leave the planet or die that millions and millions of years down the line octopuses will one day be the next "humans" on earth. I saw it on a discovery channel episode about evolution a couple years back. trippy as fuck.