"Time out! [to audience] Did he just call me 'Master Morris'? I think I'm gonna like it here at Eton. Time in!"

"Time out! [to audience] We have to go to school here and live here, and there's only guys? Looks like we can only find out how Kelly, Jessie and Lisa are doing on the weekends, or a separate TV series. Time in!"

"Time out! [to audience] Can you believe this 'Headmaster' guy didn't let me just drop in on him in his office and gain life lessons? Doesn't he know what a school principal is for? Time in!"

"Time out! [to audience] Why are they calling Slater 'a devious Spaniard' for using his Anglicized last name on his entrance application? It can't be worth whatever this 'caning' thing is they're talking about. Time in!"

"Time out! [to audience] They sure are putting Screech through the ringer for missing chapel, and I don't like it. If there's one thing I'm anti-, it's anti-Semitism. Time in!"

"Time out! [to audience] Yeesh…looks like that's all the education I'm getting. If it's such a 'Great War', can't they find somebody else to fight it? Time in!"

"Time out! [to audience, clutching at bullet wound in abdomen] Damned Krauts. But you know, I think I learned something from all this: just when you think life's thrown everything it's got at you, it hits you with Somme more troubles. Time in!" [dies in Slater's arms in a trench in Northern France]