The first weekend of the Winter Olympics is in the books. Let's see who medaled so far.

Bronze:NBC

TerryFox is a Canadian hero who attempted to run across the country to raise money for cancer research. Michael J. Fox is a Canadian actor who has become an advocate for Parkinson's disease research. Meredith Vieira is an American talk show host who doesn't know what she's talking about. And we don't know the name of the Today show production intern who will be fired.

Silver:Slovakia

Canada beat Slovakia 18-0 in ice hockey on Saturday. They had 67 shots to Slovakia's nine. Yikes. That's an ass-kicking. But don't feel bad for Slovakia. They had it coming. In 2008 they beat Bulgaria 82-0 in a tournament. Really. So if you want to feel bad for someone, make it Bulgaria. Because when it comes to hockey, they're so stinky. (Fun Fact: the stotinki is a Bulgarian monetary unit. Now we're learning! And punning!)