It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!


Hey buddy, remember how you made fun of me for being Jewish all the time? Remember how you bullied that poor kid over Facebook and told him you would "crush him"? Well, I'm the one who made a fake email address for one of your professors and sent you to a fake Saturday class at 9am and made you write an essay in order to pass your class.

Amanda L, JMU

Hey Charlie, remember when you got locked in the bathroom for about 46 hours? And we started dropping stink bombs through the ceiling on you? That's what you get for using our clean shower instead of cleaning your own shower.
L.M., Oklahoma State

I had a classic d-bag roommate. He ate my food, he had no income worth speaking of, and he never picked up his crap. I wanted him to move out but I'm a nice guy. One of my old friends from HS was going to be moving into our place, so I gave him very specific instructions on how to get rid of my d-bag roommate. When he first moved in, he told us he had one rule, not to drink all of the orange juice (exactly what I told him to do). Naturally the idiot ignores this and the next day my friend comes home to find that he is out of OJ. Immediately he starts stomping around shouting "WHO THE F**K DRANK MY ORANGE JUICE?" My roommate freaked out and sincerely believed that my friend was going to kill him just because my friend had a gun pulled on him. Some people are just paranoid I guess. Needless to say our plan worked and the d-bag moved out.
Trevor P., School Not Given

This kid made a totally unwarranted death threat to me on facebook, knowing the police wouldn't do anything if I reported it, I decided to scare the living shit out of him. Being a hunter, I have a shotgun. At the local sporting goods store, I bought box of blank shotgun shells, used to train hunting dogs, and have no projectile, just a flash and loud sound. A few nights later I went to his house, stormed in his unlocked door wearing all black and a ski mask and caught him in the kitchen. Let a few blank rounds off and got the hell out of dodge. I later heard from a mutual acquaintance that he moved out of the area because he was convinced someone was after him. Suck it.
Anonymous, School Not Given

Don't get me wrong, you were an awesome roommate, for the most part. It just really drove me up the wall when you listened to Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" on a continuous loop for an hour, or when you watched Titanic every night for two weeks straight when I was trying to sleep, or when you soaked our room in your boyfriend's cologne, or when you forced me to watch Grey's Anatomy with you. I guess that's why I don't feel bad about filling my iTunes playlist with anime and J-pop and playing it at full volume every time you were in the room. Arigatou gozaimasu for a great year!
Anonymous, School Not Given

I had a roommate who was just computer literate enough to know the basics. He was a guy and I was a girl in an apartment. No romantic connection. Although I often offered to help him, he refused on the basis of masculinity. Whenever his internet was running a little slow (because he'd have tons of windows opening at once, loading flash games and watching youtube at the same time) he would reboot the router. This got incredibly annoying because I was hooked up to the same router. I knew that any attempt to mess with his computer would just make him screw with the router more, so I took my old broken router and opened it up and hooked the LED's up to a battery to make it look like it was on. I then hooked that router up to the free port and told him that it was newer and better than the other one, and that he could use it. That way he would "reboot" the broken router to make himself feel better, and my connection was safe. Oh, and when I left – I offered to let him keep the broken one so I could take the "older" one off his hands. I bet he's still trying to reboot that one.
Anonymous, School Not Given

The other day I came home from work only to discover that my roommate had gone out and bought a pet snake. Why did she buy a snake? For the sole purpose of naming him 'Lieutenant Dan', because "he ain't got no legs". I pretended I was angry about it and told her that if she cleaned up the house I'd forgive her. Really, I love Lt. Dan. I just didn't feel like cleaning the house.
Anabell G., School Not Given

My very mean roommate made a list of who was supposed to clean everyone's dishes each day. My day was Monday, but I refused to clean other people's dishes, when I never even used them myself. She yelled and me and told me I was worthless and nobody liked me. After she walked back into her room, I cleaned her dishes with my saliva.
Danielle F., U. of St. Francis

You were a fat loser who constantly pissed me off, made stupid jokes in front of my friends, and drank way beyond your limit. But you didn't really have any friends, so sure, I was ok with you drinking straight from the cartons of milk and orange juice that I bought. I dealt with it. And I was only slightly mad when you never did any dishes, ever. But when you decided to pass out drunk in my bed one night and proceed to piss in it in your sleep, I figured enough was enough. So I pulled you out of my bed and I went to work, then slept in my friend's room next door. Hearing you scream through the wall about having your hands super glued to the bathroom door and being late to class was worth EVERYTHING.
John Reilly, School Not Given

Yes, I know you've been stealing my 10mg blue adderall. I know you thought I wouldn't notice because I have so many. I know that you know that I would give them to you if you only asked because I've offered numerous times, but you always decline. You say you don't need to take drugs to make a good grade, but apparently you do because you steal at least 10 every month and I know you use them to pull your all night cram sessions. Well theif and lying hypocrite, that brand new prescription of adderall in my bathroom that you recently raided was actually generic sleeping pills. Yeah, I can't believe you fell asleep in the library and missed 2 midterms either. That really sucks, but next time maybe you should reconsider stealing from your friends.
Meg O., NCSU



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