Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me at dating.itscomplicated[at]gmail.com!

 

While dating my first girlfriend, we had gone out to dinner probably at a diner or something. All I remember is that I drank a lot of soda (hey I was like 17). By the time we made it back to her house I had to piss something fierce but she had to use the bathroom too. She politely let me go first. I bolted into the bathroom and took a piss only to find out after I was finished that my pee had been shooting in two directions (WTF) and while one stream was aimed perfectly into the toilet, the other was aimed directly down my left pant leg. I had just pissed myself at my girlfriend's house. Seeing as how I was a loser in high school I wore those pants with the zip off pant-legs so you can turn them into shorts. I slyly unzipped the pant-legs and made them into shorts and then complained all night about "how warm it was inside" in the dead of winter. She never said a word about it but I think she knew.

-Anonymous

While helping my girlfriend get prepared for her summer semester abroad, I convinced her that she will need to get a new watch because Europe is on "metric time".  I said they have 100 hours instead of 24 hours in a day. She says, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that".  Good luck finding your new watch!
-Dan, ND State

So me and my (ex) girlfriend went to Texas (my old home town) to stay for about 3-4 days. And onmy step fathers land he had a single wide trailer for us to use while he stayed in his newly built house. Well one morning after waking up me and my GF decide to start at it again. In the middle of sex she asks me to moan for her. I don’t really do that, but I didn’t care so I did so and probably sounded like a girl doing it because I was faking it. So we get done and I start heading to the shower and outside in the living room (near bedroom door) is my step dad on the couch just laughing saying "well son it sounds like you had fun". Now he probably thinks I sound like a girl having sex.

-E-Brake, Army (deployed currently)

My ex-girlfriend lives on a farm, so subsequently their "waste" goes through a septic system. Anyways, one day my ex and I were watching a movie with her dad and brother. During one of the many commercial breaks, her dad asked about our day and we filled him in on how we mostly just spent the day relaxing around the house, watching TV and stuff. Out of nowhere her dad started explaining that he had to fix the septic system the day before and eventually figured out the filter was plugged. We didn't really care so we just said ok, and he kept hinting that we should ask why it was blocked off. Finally he announced, "Yeah it was totally blocked off by tampons… oh and condoms, don't flush them down the toilet anymore.”  To this day I don't know if he was serious, but he did seem to look at me differently after that day.

-Anonymous

 

This fall/winter semester I had to explain to the girl I was hooking up with that it was NOT okay to call me "Daddy" when we were knocking boots.  She still doesn't understand why…

-Anonymous

 

During my freshman year, I was suprised one day when a guy I  knew  requested a relationship with me through Facebook. I thought it was cute and that he was embarrased to ask, so I accepted and we started dating. Two weeks in we had our first fight, and he ended up changing our Facebook relationship to 'It's Complicated' afterwards, and throughout the relationship continuously switched our relationship status to alert everyone without ever talking to me about it. He ended up breaking up with me through Facebook as well, and I haven't really talked to him since.
-Liz

 

So a few years back on a first date with a girl I took her to see one of the gory scary movies out at the time. I'm not a big fan of scary movies, (yeah I know I'm a pansy) but she was, and hell I'd do more than a few things I didn't like to have a shot with her. I was doing fine throughout most of the movie, we started cuddling up to each other when a rather excessive long gory scene came on screen. Now I always thought I had a tolerance for gore, being injured enough times myself, but before long I started to get the chills, the tunnel vision and before I knew it, I passed out. Slumped halfway over her I snap out of it, and then proceed to do that awkward "reboot" of realizing what just happened by rapidly searching my surroundings convinced this is some crazy dream. She was actually pretty cool with it, thought it was funny, but we never made it to more than friends. Worst part of all of this though, after settling back into my chair after all the commotion was over, a 14 year old girl sitting beside me turns and says, "Are you going to be alright?"  Go me.
-RB


This week’s, “Most Poorly Written Submission to Date” award goes to:

On valentine's day this year my girlfriend sent me one of the candygrams for our High School so when i got it a friend of mine (who is girl) was sad because the guy she wanted to send her one didnt send her one so i gave her the candy off mine so later that day after lunch when i was kissing my grilfriend she walks up and slaps me calls me a cheater and screams about me giving her a candygram then runs off so then my girlfriend breaks up with me that second and then like a minute later the other girl comes back laughing saying "that was so funny" needless to say i hate valentine’s day.

-Anonymous