Translated to English
To all interested,
We here at Giovanni's Plumbing Services are looking for additional team members. We are a growing business, and need some determined individuals to help our team compete with local competition. With growing trends in the industry it is integral to perform above the job expected, sometimes flying amidst the clouds even, as well as being the most stereotypical Italian you can be. It is suggested, but not required for the job, to first grow a full and thick mustache in order for the public to know you're a plumber they can trust. It is also suggested to know how to dismantle and destroy a bomb properly. Necessary requirements are as follows:
- Must be able to not only know how to fix piping, but also possess the ability to fit into them and see what is going on in the inside to ensure optimal repair. This also decreases travel time.
- As a plumber on our team you must be physically conditioned enough to able to swim, run, leap over objects 4x your size, fly, and tame dinosaurs. (Physique is not important).
- You must be able to commit to the fact that you may need to drop your current customer in order to save a princess in distress. Public awareness of our heroism towards royalty is more essential to our business than reparing broken pipes. We attempt to keep the Princess rescue to toilet repairing ratio 8:1, and insist all applicants are able to uphold these standards.
- You must have a knowledge of the local fungi and plant populations. These will help you perform your duties as a plumber more effectively.
- Drive and operate a 150cc go-kart.
If you possess these qualities please apply immediately!
Occupational hazards include (but are not limited to): carnivorous plants, ghosts, dragons, the Sun, apes with barrels, jellyfish, turtles, flying fish, dead turtles, bananas, bullets, exposure to extreme temperatures (i.e. lava), stress, and the Hantavirus.
Please do not let these hazards deter you from seeking a position with us, as these are common problems with any plumbing business in Italy. We are fully insured, and compensate any damages to the full amount of gold coins needed.
Submit cover leter and resume to:
Dominic Anthony Portabello-Giovanni
Giovanni's Plumbing Services
1237 Bippity Boppity Ave.
Giglio, Italy 58483