I provide relationship advice for males – from a male's perspective. Each day I answer a poor soul's email on my site www.MannLanders.com - where you're free to offer your 2 cents in the comments.

… but because there are too many questions and not enough days in the week here are some quickies.

1) My girlfriend is getting too familiar. The other day, she dropped a deuce while I was in the shower.  How do I tell her this is inappropriate behavior?

Eye for an eye my friend, eye for an eye. True, it could back fire and leave you both blind, but something tells me you can leave her blinder.

2) Does size matter?

Yes, but it goes both ways. No matter the size of the key there is a keyhole somewhere out there for it. Sometimes you need to get out there and start testing doors. 

3) I just moved near a beach and plan to spend much of the summer there. I have a really hairy back though – do you think I should wax it?

“Really hairy” is relative so it is hard for me to say.  Some men can support body hair with great esteem. It gives them a rugged, manly swagger that many women flock to. Generally speaking, though, women don’t want to make love with a gorilla, so if your back hair borders on a sweater it is probably in your best interest to take care of it.

4) What song is your favorite to make love to?

Impossible to name one song because lovemaking isn’t one act, it is a rollercoaster of moments and emotions, and no one song can capture that. Thus, I tend to favor a playlist:

i) “Let’s Get It On” Marvin Gaye: This is a good song to open with because of its bluntness - there are no games to be played with this song, and no beating around the bush (double entendre, anyone?).  It will let you know quickly if she is hot to trot.

ii) “I Want to Lick You” Ludacris – Fast music is great for getting your heart pumping, which also will ensure blood reaches the appropriate appendages. Plus, if there is a better song for encouraging sexual experimentation I sure haven’t found it.

iii) “All Night Long” Lionel Richie – I usually put this on repeat for the next six hours or so.

iv)  “Why Can’t We be Friends” War – As I collect my things to leave I switch to this apt track. Since she is likely still asleep, it is best to turn the volume down.

5) Do, Dump, Date: Ariel, from The Little Mermaid; Jasmine, from Aladdin; and Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Do: Ariel – I know she is a mermaid, but I’ll try anything once.

Dump: Belle – According to the people who live in her poor provincial town, that girl is strange, no question – a most peculiar madmoiselle. Sure her looks may have no parallel, but I can’t handle crazy inlaws. And worst of all, her boyfriend is a beast.

Date: Jasmine – I have always had a thing for women from the East. Jasmine is a strong, independent woman who knows what she wants.  This only amplifies her stunning looks. Plus, she has a beautiful and helpful pet, and lives someplace warm.

You're welcome,

Mann Landers


Help spread Mann Landers' gospel:

Become a Fan: www.Facebook.com/MannLanders
Follow on Twitter: @MannLanders