Chat Roulette: The Wheel of Uncategorized Death.

By Brad Rodrigues

Foolish Friends Inc.

 

Chat Roulette; it’s a crazy world. And one, for most parts, that shouldn’t exist.

But it does. And we have to deal with it.

 

My friends and I have become quite versed in the Chat Roulette style of gaming, and have prepared a list of essential things you should be prepared to see while roulette-ing; and have separated them into categories one is most likely to witness while participating in this circle of idiotic death.

 

Naked Dicks

You’re gonna see ‘em, mine as well count ‘um.

 

Girls

A high dick-to-girl Ratio is rare; but not impossible.

 

Funny People

One of the most improbable events; only rare when not drunk.

 

Underwear Dicks

Not as potent as normal, naked dicks, but still frequent enough to warrant its own category.

 

Shirtless Men

A definite probability; the ones who haven’t quite come to terms with showing their full-ness online, but are so close to achieving that extraordinary dream.

 

Suicides

We’re just hoping on this one.

 

Immediate Hang-ups

Frequent, unwelcomed, and will happen often when you scream to the camera “Show us your dick” after 2 seconds of visual confirmation that, no, there is no dick (on screen, at least).

 

Gigantic Dicks

As you explore the Roulette for countless hours, you notice subtleties. This may be one of them, and is worth noting for the hardcore fans. Or drunks; whichever.

 

Little Kids

Possibly one of the more disturbing things you find while Rouletting, however, still worthwhile to keep track how many you find; so you can call DCYF and be a helpful citizen.

 

Jerkin’ it Hard

 

Just worth noting.

(also comes in Medium, Soft, and “Two-Fingered")             

 

 

Soul Mates

The rarest; never the opposite sex. Usual the one person that “chats” for more than 5 seconds/doesn’t have his shirt off/dick out/mom in the background. Unless having your mom in the background means immediate soul mate.

 

People That Have Polio

Because hey, you never know. .. Unless they’re jerkin’ it hard.