Fear not citizen! I have the solution for you. No longer will you need to worry about finding food for your novelty party midgets. No longer will you wonder if those regular sized snack foods will choke your midget and make him die in front of the very children he was hired to entertain. FrogCO Industries has solved this problem once and for all with FrogCO’s special line of Advanced Miniaturized Midget Food Products.
After millions of dollars of research and development, FrogCO is proud to announce that we have successfully created a midget friendly food line that is not only nutritious, but delicious. The science behind this process is astounding, using lasers and magnets, and laser-magnets, we are able to shrink the food molecules down to midget sized proportions. Just look at the results of our miniaturization process used on this ordinary, normal person sized, Porterhouse Steak.
Mmmm…tiny and delicious. Your party midget will be pleased with this feast. But the process doesn’t just work with beef products. We have been able to successfully miniaturize all sorts of tasty treats. You know, I bet your midget would like a nice potato with his steak. No problem! We pointed our laser-magnets at a spud and were able to make tiny potatoes that will go down easy and not upset their little tummies.
AMAZING! I’m almost jealous of midgets for having such terrific tiny little food to chew on. Now you’re probably thinking, “Steak and potatoes is okay in moderation, but I don’t think all that red meat and carbs is good for my party midget in the long run.” NO PROBLEM! We here at FrogCO are keen to your health concerns and have taken action to address this issue. I’d like to introduce to you our low fat, high protein, fish for midgets.
Mmm…mini-fish look delectable! Now you’re probably wondering, “Wow, what a
terrific line of midget food! You can’t possibly have more miniature food products.” That’s where you’re wrong! We didn’t stop at side dishes and entrées. Midgets deserve something for their tiny sweet tooth. They need chocolate! That’s why we worked with Snickers candy to develop miniature Snickers bars just for midgets!
At this point I bet your little party midget is stuffed! But we can’t feed him all that wonderful food and let his tiny throat get dry. That midget needs a beverage! You thought we forgot, didn’t you? NOPE! Introducing FrogCO’s own…MIDGET JUICE!
So the next time you hire a midget for your festivities, I want you to remember the name FrogCO. Treat your midget right, treat him…with FrogCO.
*Surgeon General’s Warning: Side effects of FrogCO Industries Miniaturized Midget Food Products may include restless earlobe syndrome, testicle reversal, even more midgety-ness, eyeball scoliosis, plumber’s butt, anal leakage, and death.
See more fun at thefrogman.me