Hey, yeah, just waiting for my friends. Yep. Man, where are they? They said 11:15 and it is 11:28 right now. 11:29! If they don't get here soon, we're going to miss all the beer. Maybe I'll just go in alone and get a cup now. Nah. It would be really lame to show up to a party alone. I'll just stand out here and stare at my phone. I'll put it back in my pocket every once in a while so I can take it out again with an indignant look, this way everyone clearly knows that I'm waiting for friends and not just standing alone outside a party like an a-hole. 11:31!
Ugh, this is the reason my friends don't like inviting me to partiiiies. I started whining about how loud and crowded it was almost immediately, but I refuse to just leave by myself. Instead, I'm going to stand out here and drink this watery, putrid excuse for beer and make annoyed gestures at my friends through the window. I can't believe they like this lame party. This is the worst party ever, but for the rest of the week, whenever someone asks what I did over the weekend, I'm going tell them about how I went to the coolest party ever. Ugh, it's 11:31. I'm missing the SNL monologue. Eh, it's not like that show's even good anymore.