Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
We're Very Close to the End, Hugo
May 19, 2010
“We’re very close to the end, Hugo.”
“entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem.”
That’s some Latin sh*t from which we derive the theory of Occam’s razor: The simplest solution is usually the correct one.
As I watched this week’s episode, I was slapped across the face with an emotion that can only be described as honesty. As Jacob gathered our remaining candidates around the fire to tell them what is to come, I felt no sense of the supernatural, the mystical, or the esoteric. He just laid it out, plain and simple:
“I picked you because you were like me; you were alone.”
After all the theories and speculation as to what made these people so special, when we finally heard the real reason, it was almost too simple to believe: They needed the island because, quite simply, they had no one else.
And the honesty hit me hardest when Jacob turned to an inquisitive Kate and told her why her name was crossed out: “Because you became a mother.”
Wowsers. That shit was intense. “It’s just a line of chalk in a cave, Kate. The job is yours if you want it.”
Even though we all spent so much time theorizing why these people were chosen, and why Kate was crossed out, for some reason, this simple, honest explanation did not disappoint me. Instead, it made me believe in this show even more than ever.
Here’s what went down this week, in a cup of stream water:
In Plane Dimension, Jack, his son, and their house guest, Claire, seem happy. Desmond beats up Ben (so he can “wake up” as well), and turns himself in. Then, with the help of Hurley, Des springs Sayid and Kate from the joint, even though they have no idea who he is. Locke takes the coincidences in his life as a sign that he should let Jack “fix” him. Ben meets Alex’s mom (Rousseau), and sparks fly. In Island Dimension, Sawyer feels guilty that he contributed to the deaths of Jin and Sun. Ben, Miles and Alpert go the barracks to get C-4 to blow up the plane. They come upon the Tiny Fey chick and Widmore. When they learn that Smocke is coming, Miles is Audi 5000, Widmore and Tina Fey hide, and Alpert and Ben wait for Smocke, who kills Alpert and then makes a deal with Ben: give me Widmore, keep the island. Ben turns Widmore in, Smocke kills Tina Fey, and Ben kills Widmore! (but not before Widmore tells Smocke that Desmond was a “fail safe” candidate.) In the jungle, Jacob appears to Hurley, Kate, Jack and Sawyer (on their way to find Des) and tells them that one of them must replace him to protect the light of the island. Jack accepts the job. Oh, and Smocke decides that Des can help him destroy the island. Yep.
Here’s what we learn:
1. “Penultimate” is one of my favorite words. Finally! An appropriate time to use it!
ON: Jack’s eye. (Thank you, writers.)
3. In Plane Dimension, Raisin Bran is “Super Bran!”
4. Des is getting the whole band back together. He does a pretty good American accent to lure Jack in.
5. Jack still has this inexplicable wound (stigmata, really). I take this to mean that the two universes are beginning to overlap.
6. Des is bringing Kate to Jack’s son’s concert.
7. Our remaining candidates seem set on killing Smocke. Jacob thinks that’d be swell.
8. Every time there’s a dramatic pause, I yell, “We don’t have time for this!!!”
9. Ben is starting to remember…but evidently not enough to remember how Rousseau looked after not having shampoo for 16 years.
10. In case you haven’t heard, Smocke wants to leave the island.
11. Widmore was the one who put explosives on the plane, not Smocke.
12. Maybe I’m not so smart, but I am still confused as to whose side Widmore was on. It seems, of course, that he is on Jacob’s side. But when he sent the mercenaries who killed Alex, was he still on Jacob’s side then? Or
’s? Or was he just out to get the island for personal purposes? If so, then why did he reference the “rules” with Ben in the past? He says now that Jacob showed him “the error of his ways,” but what were those ways? Maybe he wanted to nominate himself as a candidate?
13. When Ben says, “Sorry, Charles,” did anyone else wish that he’d said, “Sorry, Charlie!” C’mon, writers!
14. “Even if we have to kidnap you!” Don’t let French women make jokes.
15. Ben is evil.
. We continue to give him chances, over and over. Occam’s razor, guys. He’s
. Sure, he’s bummed about his daughter. But now, he just wants to kill people.
16. Why isn’t
always in smoke form? He likes the feel of his feet on the Earth. Keep it simple, guys!
17. Widmore brought Des back to the island because his special immunity to electromagnetism makes him a back-up candidate.
18. Michelle Rodriguez had enough time to wash off the blue paint and put down the cocktail to grace us with her presence. Gee, thanks. Also, she’s “not ready yet” to know the truth. Will she ever be? O wait, I don’t care.
19. Look at our boy Jack! From Science to Faith in 7 seasons!
promos tout the season finale as the “biggest television event of the decade.” I’d drop the word “television.”
The Morning After
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