It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My freshmen year I lived in the dorms and was randomly assigned a roommate. For the first few weeks everything went great but then her quirks started showing. Things like she could not stand it if the towel papers were facing up instead of down. Or no matter what she ate or how much of it was on her plate, she always left atleast a bit of every single thing. Like if she was having fries and a sandwich, she wold leave a few fries and a bite of sandwich. She wouldn't pick it up either so we would have little bites of food sitting around everywhere. She also would not eat/drink anything if it expired that day. I could understand if it was expired but to not eat/drink the day of its due date was stupid and she would throw whatever it was away. I got tired of it & started hiding some of her food until the day of its expiry and then putting it back. She couldn't figure out what was happening and it drover her insane. She gave me the food and moved out at the end of the semester.
Go Ducks from University of Oregon
My neighbor would always play shitty top 40 music at full bass at like 3 am everynight. One day she came up to me and asked if she could use our internet, which I agreed to if she would cover her share. BTW internet does not cost $150/month. Thanks for covering for my roommate and me. You're kinda hot. Let's hang.
Matt S. from NYC
Dylan T. from HC
Freshman year I was paired with the opposite of me; fat, socially awkward, passive aggressive, Christian, and a huuuge bitch. I got along great with my two suitemates, but my roommate pretty much isolated herself from us. Well, she did many things but the best is the first week when she left my suitemate The Note.
Supposedly my roomie heard her having sex in our shower, so she left a note on the shower that said, "please no sex in the shower! I use it too and I don't want to get HERPES, THANKS." of course we were all stunned at how rude this note was. She also allegedly killed my fish (I found him lying dead, dry on my desk far from his bowl
R.I.P Gangsta Raymundo). Anyway, she finally moved out 2nd semester, but not before I bought several porn mags that I cut out all the dirty parts of and sprinkled them in her suitcase. I hope they gave you herpes, you dumb bitch.
My roommate, freshman year, was a bitch as well as a total mess. She would wake me up in the middle of the night when she came home all belligerent and drunk and would start barfing on the floor. She threw a party in our room without inviting me in hopes that I wouldn't come home that night. The final straw was when she yelled at me for half an hour calling ME a slut and a slob in front of all our friends. She had this long term boyfriend who lived a few states away, and she thought that she could sleep with whoever she wanted and get away with it. She would have sex with guys while I was in the room sleeping, and even did it on MY bed! So one day, out of frustration and anger, I submitted a naughty picture of her and some juicy info to thedirty.com and it got on the site. Then I sent a link of the post to her mother and boyfriend. I smiled to myself when I saw a few days later that her facebook relationship status changed to "single."
Brooke S. from Arizona State University
Hey buddy. Yeah, so I know we've been friends for a long time, and you've always kinda been a fat dumbass, but the last year or two you've gotten really bad, now that you have "A degree in Business Management and Diesel Tech", from some bullshit tech school. You're pretty much as much a prick as you are a lard ass. You know how you like to show up to parties univited? Yeah? You know how you creep every single chick out by being slightly rapist? You know how you like to stash your beer in your truck in the parking lot and drink everyone elses? Catchin on? Remember how you drank almost a 5th of MY rum, insulted MY girlfriend all night, and then kept sneaking out to your truck between bottles of MY beer? Remember how you were bragging to that guys wife about that "super awesome" cheap ass tequila you had in your truck? I hear you drank all that. It was piss jackass. Turns out the rest of the guys don't like you either.
C K from Central
You know that doomed relationship you two have been trying to maintain for what earthly reason I don't know? You know how you get in screaming matches after kinky sex and keep everyone in the apartment up all night? You know that couch that one of you sleeps on whenever you get so mad you kick her out of your room? My boyfriend and I know that couch, pretty well, actually. I lost my virginity on it and it's been our favorite sex spot for the last two years. Have fun cuddling your face into those cushions!
K. G. from FU
Hey Roomie! Remember how you always steal my food, clothes and never owned up to it well I know it was you. Well you know those naughty pictures you and your smelly boyfriend took. You could never figure out how they got all over the internet and how your parents and boss ended up with copies. Well it was me. Hope you had fun explaining it to your parents and you are enjoying unemployment and living back home :).
Samantha T. from USF
My housemates and I get it: you think you're the shit because you can party 24/7 with your Portuguese major and you're in a frat. I, your chemical engineering roommate, love it when you sexile me to pound your goth girlfriend who happens to be taller than you (so sad). After months of you leaving your pots and pans around, covered in bacon grease and sardines and god knows what else, we decided we had enough. I hope you like the crushed up estrogen pills in your protein powder. We know you'll get a good dose every day. I can't wait to hear your girlfriend's laugh the next time you sexile me.
Bo Rider from UCSB
We lived in the third floor of Lake Hall at Kent State University last year, and we hated almost everyone on our floor. It was apparently the dorm for the freshman year exploratory majors- basically, the slutty girls with no aim in life. They were loud, drunk bitches with no respect for anyone. So we decided to rig the bathroom with water balloons at 2am, and luckily, our door was positioned so that we could see who was going in by looking from our peephole. It was set up so as soon as someone walked in, a water balloon would fall on her head. Unfortunately, one of the last people we wanted to get hit with it decided to use the restroom at that time. It was one of the really quiet, shy, non-English speaking Asian girls who got drenched. She made no fuss and didn't say a word, she just tried to dry herself, she went to the bathroom, and went back to bed. We're sorry. We really wish that it had been anybody but you, Asian girl.