So since we’re getting into this a few weeks late, let’s recap what we’ve learned on The Hills so far this year:

-Heidi started dating the worst person in the world, Spencer Pratt.  So far he’s cheated on her with her former bff Audrina and three blonde playmates (one of which called him her “boo”).  Here’s a link to his MySpace, just you know, FYI.

-Spencer introduced Lauren to his best friend, and former Princes of Malibu (it was a Simple Life-ish show that only aired like three episodes and was canceled soon thereafter; don’t worry, you’re not the only one who’s never heard of it) co-star Brody Jenner.  Fun fact: Brody used to date Kristin Cavallari and Nicole Richie

-Lauren still works at Teen Vogue where they try to make it not seem completely obvious that they gave her a job just because MTV promised to do a show that would put their mast head all over the channel.  Heidi still works at BoltHouse where they try even harder to make it seem like Heidi deserved her job.  Moral of the story? Drop out of college your freshman year and you can get any job you want, as long as you have a reality show following you, you know, as long as that show isn’t TwentyFourSeven (R.I.P. Cipes).

The last episode left us with a Heidi who couldn’t walk up the steps to her apartment because she was so heartbroken about finding out that Spencer went to a club without her (when he thought she was out of town) and, instead, with three really dumb blonde sluts.  I think we can all relate when she says: “I was really falling in love with him…”

This episode starts with Heidi and Audrina talking about Spencer as they come to the realization that he gave both of them the same flowers, while also trying to hook up with both of them (succeeding with Heidi only obvs), all on the same day.  They also name drop PinkBerry, which is pretty much the best frozen yogurt ever and hopefully if we mention it, we can get a ton of it for free too.

Lauren’s task for the episode is dealing with the “New York Intern” Emily.  Emily sets the tone for the show, most likely after some coaxing from the show’s producers, by setting her stuff up on Lauren’s desk at work and then taking charge at work, saying: “We’ve got some Mapquesting to do.”  Simply put, this girl is like the really motivated girl when you have a group project who has all of her pens organized by ROY G BIV and then gets pissed when you forget to finish your part of the assignment because you were busy watching The Hills and taking notes so that you could write a recap of the show.

Oh yeah, Whitney has her wisdom teeth removed and supposedly has “dry sockets”, which is great for her.  Why is she even in the opening credits anymore?

Although at one point, Heidi and Lauren (and then the other girl “Jen” who is trying, and failing miserably, to get a reoccurring spot on the show) are at dinner when Heidi decides that she needs a break from Spencer—which makes sense, because he’s been cheating on her the entire time.  But right when you think Heidi’s come to her senses, (one commercial break later) we see her getting into Spencer’s car, giving him another chance. 

Love prevails yet again!