It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My roommate got sent out of town for a "10-day" project two-plus months ago. He left me with his old, stinky, incontinent, stubborn, arthritic dog, without asking if I actually wanted to or was able to watch the stupid mutt. It took me over a month to convince him to hire a dogsitter. I came home last weekend from a long-overdue weekend away from the apartment to find that the dog had peed in our tiny, poorly-ventilated bathroom, and the dogsitter hadn't noticed or didn't care. I used my roommate's robe to clean the floor, then hung it back up. I sincerely hope he uses it without washing it first. He totally deserves it.
My girlfriend had terrible roommates this past year. They all claimed to be "good girls" that were "saving themselves" when in reality they were too fat, ugly and bitchy to ever get a guy. They would do things like eat her food and use her shampoo. They were extremely judgmental and jealous. She was upset, but would never let me do anything since she was so passive. I snuck into the the room one weekend I knew everyone was gone and went crazy. Shot glasses, alcohol, laptops, food, a 50" HDTV, posters, a piggy bank with over $800 and every DVD in the place left with me that day. I even made sure to "steal" my girlfriend's stuff to make it look like she had no part of it. She was ecstatic to see what I had done. That stuff I stole is going to fund our vacation this summer. Thanks bitches.
Anonymous from Penn State
I recently moved in with my boyfriend of 3 years. I love the guy. He keeps the house neat, he always does the dishes when I cook, he keeps me loved, and puts the toilet seat down. Only two little problems. He tends to drink a tad too much when we go out, and he insists on sleeping naked. One night we came home early yet
again, since he had sped through 8 tequila shots in one hour. I led him to the bathroom to puke. He turned in the hallway to puke on my guitar. So while he was passed out naked on the bed, I shaved his balls. He's been itching and whining for about 3 days now, still pissed at himself for getting drunk enough to manscape. He isn't aware that I did it, and he's vowing off alcohol for a month. Hey! Everyone wins, right?
I live in a student building off campus with my 4 other roommates. However one of our roommates happens to be a huge fun sponge/wallflower/douche bag/ginger who thinks he is better than all of us. Anyways I'm pretty lenient when people use my stuff because ALL my roommates do, and it might be 'cause I shop at costco and buy every thing in huge quantities. BUT I cant stand when my body wash is used up because the other douche bags are to cheap to buy their own. So I took the empty bottle WITH MY NAME ON IT and filled it with half olive oil and half soap and enjoyed every morning watching the bottles content be used up! There ya go ginge. I hope your acne is as flared up as your fiery hair.
M.O. from Florida
Me and a few buddies shared a room in College, and our neighbor would always wake us up really early and try to report us for partying, so obviously none of us liked this guy. We were all starting to get fed up with his shit when I noticed a small hole in the wall right beside my bed. It looked right into this assholes bedroom, and at night we would watch all the stupid shit he did. Just to list some of the things we saw, and recorded with a pinhole camera; Him trying to suck his own dick, experimenting with dildos, picking his nose and eating it, drinking his piss, and many, many other fucked up things. I hope to someday send these videos to him, just to let him know that somebody saw.
B.G. from SMPRCSA
Every time I walk by your door when your sleeping I throw a pop-it at it. I pretend not to know what the noise is. I also pee in your shampoo. Thanks for creeping out every girl I take to my house douchebag.
Heywood You Know the Rest from NMU
My freshmen year, I lived in the dorm with this asshole who moved in the day before I did. He bunked our beds, refused to unbunk them, and had it next to the air unit in our room. At night he would lay a towel on the vent as he got hot or cold, leaving me to sweat in the Georgia heat. I tried talk to him about it, but he denied doing it, even if I saw him do it. One night, in my drunken, sleepy stupor, I awoke sweating and saw the AC covered with his towel, which stunk of mildew and Ax Body spray . I then drug him from his bed into the hall and locked him out for the rest of the night. The next day he moved out and I was left with one of his many passive aggressive post it notes on my desk.
Bryce G. from GSU
You moan like an opera singer while having sex multiple times a day, so I pee in the shower on the new stone mats you bought for the floor so you don't slip while showering, sorry, but not really.
A few years back we all hung out with this girl who had a tendency to get super drunk, we called her blackout blowjob. Well at a this one party she got to her usual state of mind and asked me to give a mutual friend directions to the party. Of course I obliged, but about a minute into the act she walks in to the room demanding I hand her phone back over. Explaining that I had yet to complete my instructions, she decides the best plan of attack is to strike me in the mouth with her closed fist. I, understandably am confused, notify her that this is the worst decision she has ever made, before whipping her phone across the room and against the wall. She then proceeds to pass out on cue, just before I delete every number in her contact list except for my own, which took about an hour. I spent the next hour coloring every inch of visible skin in with black marker, including the inside of her ears. The best part was when she called me in the morning because there were no other suspects. I win
Ricky M. from Towson
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