Dorming: the pit fall of a hell to live at. I mean this in the most respectable manner. Some dormitories can be a wonderful experience to live at, but the majority is a laughing joke. But in all honesty, it could be a got damn nightmare. First off, if you do decide to dorm, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more money that your commuter pupils. And you won’t necessarily be living it up. Depending upon your parent’s bank accounts or your parents credit, determines your dorming experiences.

College is a steam rolling hell on academic wheels. It is an institution that leaves you in a mounting pile of 30 years to life debt. You’ve listened to your high school teachers and administrators tell you the importance of college, but did they tell you how much bullshit it is? Nope, thought so. Did they explain that you pay buckets loads of your parents hard earned money only for you to experience a fire alarm at four in the morning? Nope, I thought so. And don’t say fire alarms are for safety precautions, that’s only 20% true. You’ll come to experience the lack of sleep from all nighters to only then be awakened to a blaring alarm.

Did they tell you how crazy wrong some academic advisors can be even though that advisor might hold a B.S. degree in Bull Shitter of Science? Nope, thought so. You see, teachers do not teach and tell you everything, not everything truly important anyway. They tell you the dreamy hopes and dreams that President Kennedy told a nation of youth in the 1960’s. But let’s be real, this is not the 1960’s. I mean, those were some monumental protesting times of peace, love and happiness.

I very well remember one of my dorming experiences using the bathroom for number two and then coming to the shocking realization that there was no toilet tissue in the stall. You would think that $4ooo.oo worth of rooming was insuring enough to make one believe that toilet tissue would be free flowing, but I was mistaken. You might be thinking what did I do next? I’ll tell you. I thought for a while…and did a little more thinking. Then I realized I was wearing boxers, the next best thing to toilet tissue. So I stripped while sitting, then I wiped and flushed boxers and all. Was it my obligation to be concerned with possible flooding? Nope.

By the way this session with the bathroom happened around 3am. The indecent exposure of a young brilliant thinker with no boxers on suited the time and the dwelling of residents who peacefully slept. The next morning I had a couple of words with the cleaning lady. No amigos, I wasn’t going to yell at her. I simply made a demanding gesture to leave an extra roll or two or even three if 38 students on one floor are sharing three bathrooms.

College is a shit storm of tragedies; a whirlwind of unexpected situations that leave you thinking outside the box. You may need to think outside the box the next time you take a seat at a toilet.

Tell me your worst experience in your dorm, or where ever.