God: Greetings

You: …God?

God: Yes, my child, I am what am.

You: Yeah w.e why are you talking to me?

You: Am I in trouble or something?

God: Heavens no, my son! I am just here to check in on you and your studies in the field of medicine as you try and become the greatest doctor in human history.

You: Oh… well I’m sorry but I just dropped out of school

God: Yes, I know all, my child.

You: Wait then what are you doing talking to me?

God: I am here to persuade you to go back to school so you can fulfill your destiny as the doctor that finds the cure to AIDS!

You: Well if you’re all knowing then you’d know that I can’t because I just knocked up my girlfriend and need to get a job now

God: Yes, of course I know that, but you can’t do this because it isn’t your destiny.

You: Well if it was my destiny to stay in school why didn’t you make me remember to wear a condom?

God: Well, birth control is a sin my child.

You: Ok…so then why didn’t you stop the conception from even happening?

God: Technically, that’s still birth control…

You: What is your issue with birth control anyway?

You: If you’re omnipotent can’t you just change the rules and make it so it’s alright?

God: Well, theoretically but that would be immoral.

You: But didn’t you create the concept of morality

God: I think you should be careful what you say my son…

You: Actually, didn’t you also create AIDS and all diseases?

You: Why don’t you just make them all disappear so I don’t have to be a doctor and your “morals” aren’t corrupted?

God: Okay that’s it! I’ve had enough of you back talking humans always thinking you know what’s best for the world order!

God: I think it’s time you learned a little lesson.


God: Try getting your girlfriend to want to have sex with you now punk.


God: Oh too bad…

God: Oh and I almost forgot

God: You also have AIDS now

God: I guess you better start working on that cure

God has signed off.