Dating someone? She just broke up with you? Ouch
She's in law school? Double-ouch. At least you can get back at her by sending your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me using this cool automatic submission form! Or you could sleep with all of her friends
Do one of the two though
I had a crush on this kid from my grade when I was in high school. Our freshman year of college, he and I ran into each other at a movie theater and decided to go on a date. Just after we ordered, he proceeded to tell me how he formed his own Nazi Club at his college and was the head of the area chapter of white supremacists. I tried to think of excuses why I had to go home, and finally went to the bathroom for 15 minutes and when I came out, I told him I had really bad diarrhea and had to leave. So he wouldn't ever call me again, I took the entire way home to describe my normal bowel movements.
So after nearly five years together, I started thinking it was about time to take the relationship with my girlfriend to the next level. We'd started dating in high school, stayed together through college and now she was living 350+ miles away for this job and had been for almost a year (I'd been driving the 700 miles roundtrip about once or twice a month to see her). So I'm thinking I'm going to need to move closer at the very least and eventually decide that I should just get right to the point and ask her to marry me. So I go buy a ring, work it through my head how I'm going to propose and plan to do it on the next visit. When I get there, she seems really distant and we basically just fight a lot. So I finally ask her wtf is going on, and she says that she's only ever been with me and how can she know we're right for each other if she's never been with anyone else. She then proceeds to tell me that she wants to break-up because of that and because of the whole long distance thing. The entire time I have the engagement ring in my pocket.
My girlfriend likes to talk to me while rubbing my dick. Sometimes she asks about my exs and if i don't answer her she gets mad. After a few questions when she finally realizes that I'm hard she would get mad at me for having a hard on while thinking about an ex.
When I was first dating my girlfriend in sophomore year of high school, she told me about a guy who would call her every night when they were both in seventh grade and play her the Akon song "lonely" and repeatedly ask her out. A couple years later, after breaking up with her, I was relating this story to a new bro I'd just met. Turns out it was him, and they're engaged.
About a year ago, I was at my girlfriend's house in Jersey the night before we would leave for a week long vacation with her family. We had been drinking pretty healthily the night before with her brother and his girlfriend, and I was pretty drunk going to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and then stumbled my way back to bed. Suddenly I was shocked awake by a voice saying, "Alex! What are you doing here! Get out!" It turns out that instead of going back to my girlfriend's room, I went into her parents room instead, climbed neatly into bed, and fell asleep sandwiched between them. I bolted awake and left the room apologizing. For the entire week her Dad ripped on me about it, telling me he was locking their door every night and that I better not try to cuddle his wife again.
I was at my girlfriend’s college graduation party at her parent’s house in Cave Creek, AZ. They were home, but super cool and let the party go on. When her parents got up in the morning a few of us soldiers were still there drinking in the backyard. Her mom came out and started mixing bloody marys. I chatted with my girlfriend’s mom for a bit, had one last cocktail, cashed out my last cigarette, passed out in the pool chair next to her, and was wearing just my bathing suit. I woke up and nobody was out back anymore, girlfriend was asleep in her old room and the backyard had been cleaned. I gathered my stuff, stumbled inside to wash my face, and ran into her dad. He had a shit eating grin on his face that I couldn’t understand, but I thanked him for the good time and took off shortly after. Apparently at dinner that night, her mom told the whole family about how I pitched a tent in the pool chair next to her. The following day I saw my girl back up in Flagstaff and she told me the story. I guess her mom indicated that she was somewhat impressed with the feature. Everybody laughed it off, and we continue to, but I officially popped a boner sleeping next to my girlfriends mom. As far as I know, no pictures were taken.