In this economy, it's nice just to have a job. Except maybe these sports job.
The next time you watch a baseball game, pay attention to the players in the dugout. They're great at putting things in their mouths, but they're physically incapable of keeping them there. Sunflower seeds, tobacco juice, swishes of Gatorade
they all get spat back onto the dugout floor until they form a thick sluice of disgustingness. By the bottom of the ninth inning, everyone's spikes-deep in a goo so foul that it's right on the verge of becoming a sentient being and attacking the clubhouse, and it's someone's job to clean it up. Did you get it all clean, guy? Great! Savor this moment. There are only 80 more home games this season!
This person's second job: Port-a-John repairman.