You are never really sure when this RA goes to class or does homework because they are always in their room, looking out expectantly. You know they are just waiting for that dream head case to come in and confess their life story so they can hand them pamphlets about early pregnancies and STDs. You have never seen anyone go in there.
How to mess with them: Walk by and give them a longing look like you have something really juicy to tell them but you just can’t.
This RA is just a student man. They are just doing what you do man. They go out and party, They like to drink. They are cool so you can invite them wherever. They are only RA’s when they are on duty. They will see you at the frat party this weekend. This is the RA that busts you as soon as you invite them over for a drink.
How to mess with them: Since they are just one of the students, ask them for money for laundry. They are good for it right?
They are only in it for the free room. They don’t do the hall meeting and you have seen them drunk more than you’ve seen them sober. You aren’t sure how they still have a job but everyone has their parties on your floor cause you have the one RA that won’t care.
How to mess with them: Don’t mess this up for the rest of us!
The one that ALWAYS busts you. They are standing at the end of the hall. They are outside your door taping notes to it. They are in the lobby. They are in the parking lot doing rounds. They are in your bathroom. They are in your shower. They are right behind you.
How to mess with them: Do totally legal things in suspicious ways. Smuggle in your Gatorade in duffle bags, block your door with towels so the Glade Plug-In smell doesn’t get out, and scrawl messages of tolerance all over the bathroom stalls.
“Let’s do this guys and girls! 3 Floor West Wing is the best Wing! Those other wings aint got nothing on us! Look at our coordinating door decs I spent four days making! Let’s all meet up and play icebreakers in the lobby. Say your name and something that describes you with the same letter! I’ll start! I’m Sassy Stacy, your turn!”
How to mess with them: Beat up a random person from the 2 floor and claim you were defending your hall.
This RA was there during move in. They told you anytime you need them just stop by. That was the last time you saw them. Door is always closed and nothing gets fixed. You have broken your leg, and it’s being eaten by the flies that infest your room but your messages for help remain unread on their dry erase board.
How to mess with them: Claim yourself as the new RA of the hall. Beer Pong program tomorrow.
Get ready for bulletin boards that could be a wall on an episode of trading spaces. Get ready for a room that’s a “safe zone” for all sexes and orientations. Get ready for all the girls in your hallway to be doing arts and crafts programs and the most organized monthly newsletters you have ever seen.
How to mess with them: Put a suggestion for a Glee marathon in their suggestion box.
This person is usually 25 and in grad school. They couldn’t get a job with their philosophy degree so now they are working in higher education. They will tell you they have been in your shoes and they are not there to be your parents. Never realizes everyone pities them instead of respects them.
How to mess with them: Tell them you want to talk to them about the real world and planning ahead while in your undergrad.
“Hey you know this is just part of the job man”. “I hate doing this and usually I would just have to let you off with a warning and I wish I didn’t have to do this but… “I just need you to sign here and it’s not saying you are admitting guilt or anything just that you are being documented”.
How to mess with them: Breakdown and talk about how you have just been betrayed by every one of your best friends and ask them if they could pull the knife out of your back when they are done
This is my hall, these are my residents. There are many like them but this one is mine! It is my life and I must master it as I master my life! Lights out at 2100 hrs
How to mess with them: We are not doing 20 pushups again sit the fuck down dude!