Play-by-play: Hey there folks. Thanks for joining us here at the warehouse. I’m Bill Cotton and as always, my color commentator, Jermie Williams. What’s your prediction for today, Jermie?

 

Color Commentator: Thanks Bill, Well, as always, Tony Hawk is a strong contender, but challenger Darth Maul has been looking real smooth on his manual-grind-manual-grind transitions. Ollie the Magic Bum has been looking fantastic as of late, pulling off repeated 900’s consecutively without fail. And then some bitch, Elissa Steamer, who doesn’t even charge up her ollies. This certainly should be interesting!

 

Play-by-play: Thanks Jermie. Well, the match just got underway! Tony Hawk and Darth Maul are already doing a reverse manual! Tony Hawk just jumped straight to a grind. So did Darth Maul. Look at that, they don’t even wobble! Ollie the Magic Bum is doing a hand plant, perfect form.

 

Color Commentator: Yeah, for a hobo, his upper body strength is truly incredible.

 

Play-by-play: Oh my! Elissa Steamer just ollied straight into a tree and fell. Ouch!

 

Color Commentator: She’s a tough gal, Bill. I’ve seen her get up from a near 50-foot fall and keep on riding. She may not have skill, but there’s no denying her spirit.

 

Play-by-play: Well said, Jermie. Oh my! I don’t believe it, but Ollie the Magic Bumb is still doing that hand plant. He’s been up there for nearly two minutes now. Incredible!

 

Color Commentator: It’s all about the multiplier, Bill. And right now, Tony Hawk has a times 30 multiplier, and now with his flawless grind, I wouldn’t be surprised if the judges reward him with 5 million points.

 

Play-by-play: I don’t believe it, but Darth Maul just went off a ramp while doing a manual and is now pulling off the special technique “Christ Air” with flawless perfection. Wow, look at him soar!

 

Color Commentator: And he landed it! The judges have rewarded him with 1.5 million points! Unbelievable!

 

Play-by-play: Elissa just went off a ramp and didn’t even rotate. What a missed opportunity, considering how high she flew!

 

Color Commentator: She must’ve gone at least 60 feet. And without even a kick flip. Such a shame.

 

Play-by-play: How right you are, Jermie. Ollie the Magic Bum is still doing that hand plant, though. How about that?

 

Color Commentator: Unbelievable. But we came here to see skateboarding, not gymnastics. The judges most likely will not reward this too highly, regardless of how unbelievable it is.

 

Play-by-play: You know who will be rewarded well? Tony Hawk, who now has a times 70 multiplier. Unbelievable!

 

Color Commentator: Don’t count your eggs until they hatch, Bill. He still needs to land the technique, and time is running out!

 

Play-by-play: Very true. Elissa just landed a kick flip, she finally has points on the board.

 

Color Commentator: She really needs to refine her skills before joining the Pro Skater tour next year.

 

Play-by-play: Well there are only a few seconds remaining—what’s this! Tony Hawk has fallen! Down goes Tony Hawk. Unbelievable! The match has ended! Tony Hawk lost all 200 million points! He has nothing! He’s ended in last place! Elissa beat him with 10 points! What a victory for her.

 

Color Commentator: What an upset. Tony Hawk must be furious! Darth Maul has come out on top, and Ollie the Magic Hobo in second, having only done a hand plant for the full competition. Unbelievable!

 

Play-by-play: Unbelievable! In other news, all birds have died due to lack of gravity on earth.