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I used to be a really big nerd as a kid (and still am), but I remember being very lonely. In my free time from playing video games and reading books, I remember my best memories were on the playground running around pretending to play Quidditch by myself.
When I was 10 my mom bought me "Battletoads and Double Dragon." I had been begging her for it for weeks. I played through the first stage about 10 times, but the final boss, Abobo, would always kill me and I'd have to restart to level. I couldn't believe I couldn't even beat the first boss. Finally, I threw my controller down in a rage, ran into the living room sobbing and yelled at my mom for buying me such an impossibly hard game. Then I cried in my room for at least an hour.
Last week me and two friends went on to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. During the movie, we were arguing about all the parts that were changed/missing from the book. Eventually our chat went a little off road, and we started discussing which Harry Potter characters would make the best Pokemon trainers and we got kicked out of the theater.
My wife and I got married in March of 2008 and I put together the music for the ceremony. After the priest presented us as husband and wife we waited a moment at the alter and the entire wedding party stood proudly while the music and sound effects for beating a level and raising the flag at the end of a level of Mario Bros played. All of our friends laughed and cheered while our parents, grandparents, and older relatives sat confused.
My first wet dream was to Joanna Dark, from Perfect Dark. I was confused about what happened and thought it was from playing too many videogames.
I didn't have a car when Bioshock 2 was released. There was no way I was missing the midnight release, so my roommate let me borrow his bike. It took me 45 minutes to get to Gamestop, but I made it right about midnight. I put the limited edition in my messenger bag and headed home. Half way back, I thought the tip of my penis was rubbing really hard against my zipper. It turned out my fly had been open for a while as I was riding into the wind, in February, past midnight. I nearly got frostbite on my penis for Bioshock 2.
And this week's Epic Sad Award goes to:
Today was my birthday. I turned 16. More people said "Happy Birthday" to me on World of Warcraft than in real life.