The Crip walk
You can feel the crip walk storm brewing the moment you hear a generic rap song come on, it starts with one person making a joke move because they're too embarrassed to dance like no one's watching and suddenly, as if everyone has been possessed, the crip walk and the Dougie have taken over. You feel like you are in a scene from Step Up 3D. As quickly as it appeared it is gone.
Too much PDA grinding
o Everyone is dancing casually except for these two who are in the corner groping and rubbing up on each other so intensely that you’re pretty sure they are just having sex. As much as you want to, you can’t look away.
The Creeper (Dance close to but not with move)
o This person is dancing close enough to grind with a girl but can’t make the final move so just stands there swaying behind her without really touching. To casual observers it looks like they’re dancing together, but she has no idea that he’s there.
o Too nervous to actually dance this person compensates by bobbing their head to the beat and awkwardly standing to the side of the dance floor. They might point at miscellaneous people, nodding their head like “yeah I know this song too.” End of the day, this person really wants to dance but can’t commit.
o Arms in the air above their head, slightly bent knees, moving their hips back and forth, maybe a little hair flick here and there. More importantly, if you are an unattractive male suitor then their official policy is “Girls night out, no guys.” If a Jake Gyllenhall look-a like walks in then suddenly “we’re here to meet guys.”
o A group of guys are dancing together, either awkwardly trying not to make contact with each other or draping their arms over one another as if to say, “Bro, we are going to get some pussy tonight.” Sweating profusely, they know some of the song lyrics so they are passionately rapping before moving in a pack to go creep out some girls.
Don’t Stop Believin’/Living on a prayer
o You can’t tell if it’s the end of the nigh, or if the party is just getting started but before you know it everyone is arm in arm, jumping, thrusting their fist in the air, bleating (not even close to singing) out the words to one of two most overplayed yet greatest unifying college/party song in history.
Obviously on E
o There’s always that one person who is jumping around and flailing their limbs as if they have lost all control of their muscles, suddenly finding themselves as human jellyfish. You might also find them, eyes closed, grinding with a stool. Why is this person dancing like that you may ask, well they’re either on a ton of drugs, or just really, REALLY into Katy Perry.
Amateur Break Dancer
o This person took hip-hop class twice in seventh grade, is now back at it in college, and so excited to show everyone how much they’ve improved since that middle school dance disaster. After a lot of build up and hype they decide to show everyone. A crip-walk esque circle appears with people ready to go crazy at something cool, this person flop around on the floor for 3 minutes before tearfully saying they didn’t have enough time to warm up.
o Two years ago, before the Jersey Shore was just a twinkle in MTV’s eye, the fist pump was ok, still predominately Guido, but could be pulled off. Now that Jersey Shore is a phenomenon, this move can only be used in jest. For example, a fist pumper might proclaim, “Look guys, get it, like the Jersey Shore. Hey everyone, haha, The Situation, he’s someone who does this.”