A: Hey Jake. Jake. JAKE. SHAKE.


(pans over to jake completely ignoring Amir wearing his newest Christmas present; dr dre beats headphones)




J: What?  What do you want?


A: Listen, about your Christmas gifts. I’m sarny…


            (over to Jake)


J: You mean sorry?


            (Confused look, pans over to Amir)


A: Yeah, more like Chronicles of Sarnia. Ha, ha.


            (Amir scoffs in disgust)


J: I know I'm just feeding this horrible fire that is your life, but what are you sorry for?


            (Shows Amir wearing the headphones reading “Green Eggs and Ham”)


J: How did you get my headphones?!


A: It’s a movie, a DVD, a Blue Ray, a classical piece of work. Perhaps you’ve heard of it.


            (Both Jake and Amir in the shot)


J: I know what Chronicles of Narnia is, very witty. Clearly beside the point, just give me back my headphones.


A: You know, I’ve been thinking about how materialistic our society has become and I’ve decided to help you out. Yeah, me helping you. I’m going to sell these.


J: No, that’s not going happen, because you’re going to give them back to me. It’s not materialistic if they were given to me.


A: Given. Stolen. Purchased. It’s all minerals.


J:  Well I'm not materialistic and I'm definitely not paying you for my gift.


            (Amir gets up and walks over towards the window)


A: If that’s your attitude, I’ll just cure your mineral issues and throw them out the window into a crowd of school children.


J: That is just wrong on so many levels. Just stop. Here. You want money? A scarf? Chicken nuggets? What?


A: HA! I so got you dude.  I knew it. You’re such a minimalist … Lets hug and celebrate.


J: What? No. Do you even know what materialistic or minimalist mean?


            (Near Patrick’s’ desk)


Pat: Oh, hey guys. What’s going on?


            (completely ignoring Pat)


A: Chicken nuggets then, give me 500 nuggets and I’ll tell you.


J: Well you don’t know either way, I have no chicken nuggets and I have no time for this.


            (Jake turns around to walk away)


A: Hey Jake, FUCK YOU.


(Grabs Pats headphones and smashes them onto the ground while making creepy eye contact with Jake for a few seconds and then runs away, while still wearing Jakes headphones)


            (Jake looks at Pat and starts talking to him)


J: Sorry man, can you believe that?


P: No, it’s cool. Those were actually Amirs’ headphones.


            (College Humor logo)

            (Back to Pat and Jake)


P: Ha, I stole his this morning, my bad.


            (Jake lunges towards Pats throat and scene ends)