Okay I can walk there right? No wait, everyone says the campus is big, I should probably bike, I don’t want to be late on the first day.
Okay I’m on the bike, do I stand up and speed up? No maybe I’m fine at this pace… okay now my ass hurts, and shit that girl just passed me, isn’t she the one with the broken ankle? Yep that looks broken… I think, now she’s too far ahead, okay I’m speeding up.
Damn, I’ve been biking for 5 minutes and I think this is the wrong end of campus. I need to look at my map. Wait that’s a tour group I need to look awesome, you know, superior to them. I’m speeding up.
Shit I think I cut that one guy off, his mom thinks she fell because of me. Okay speed up even more.
Great now I’m in a forest, where am I? Oh it’s a garden. There’s my building! I think… maybe I’ll ask that guy if it’s the right place. He looks nice and maybe he’s in my class.
Okay he had no idea where it is. I’m going into the building anyways.
Hey there’s Mark! Maybe he’ll— okay he probably didn’t see me, I’m just very aware of my surroundings and he isn't.
Slow down, jump off my bike? YES.
Okay wipe the mud off my jeans. Check. Lock my bike. Check. Pray that this is the right building. Check.
That girl totally smiled at me. That dude looks familiar. Is everyone looking at me? I wiped most of the mud off. Maybe I’ll go to the bathroom.
Jesus there’s a line in the mens room??
Okay room 173… room 173… room 173… wait is that right? Okay yeah it is, unless I printed the wrong sheet, god that could be embarrassing. But nobody knows what I’m doing so I just gotta look calm. Check.
173! At least there is a 173 in this building. Enter. Wow I’m the first one here and class started two minutes ago. Success!