Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
105%: Issue One Hundred and Forty Five
January 13, 2011
If you can read this, keep on doing so.
I gave up on searching for true love, when Google gave me 67 million results.
Automatic flush toilets
God's way of telling me to stop taking pictures of my poop.
The moment you know your girlfriend's too big
When you push her in a river and someone else yells "Dam."
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
I didn't realize just how ugly I was until I got a hemorrhoid on my face.
Literature can be dangerous. I've seen a story plot, a rhyme scheme, and a novel straight up murder three guys outside an Arby's.
If fate is a cruel mistress, does that mean I'm destined to cheat on my wife?
People think it's weird that I wear protection while masturbating, but who knows what kind of germs are on the public library's keyboard.
I have fond memories of the boy scouts, but it's funny, I don't remember earning that Star of David merit badge they sewed onto my sleeve.
Click here to submit your own 105%.
Or tweet joke @CH105percent on Twitter
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.