Ever had a funny/interesting/awesome run in with the law? Want to incriminate yourself on a worldwide-scale? Submit your stories to IFoughtTheLawAndDidOrDidNotWin at gmail.
Once when visiting home in the Middle East, my brothers, my older sister and I went for a drive. A cop pulled us over for speeding, then saw that there were two males and two females in the car. He decided my sister and I were prostitutes. We showed him our English IDs, but he said it was "mumbo jumbo" and that we'd all have to go to jail until legitimate documents could be sent with all of our names and addresses. It seemed like we had at least a bad night ahead of us. Then my brother gave him eight dollars and he let us go.
Some friends and I set off a bunch of illegal fireworks on the Fourth of July. We'd gotten them in Wyoming. We had just lit one when a cop pulled up and demanded one of us come speak to him. I went over and started to apologize when he interrupted me and said, "Nah, I don't give a sh*t. But apparently there are some communist mother****ers in Boulder who hate America and were complaining. Just lay off the fireworks for a while, while I go catch someone for an actual crime and then you can go back to shooting these off."
I was in Israel last summer with a friend who was joining the army there. After two weeks we decided it was time to get a hold of some weed, but we didn't know anyone that would sell. We decided to hang around a crowded street at night and look for sketchy people that could be dealers. We walked up to one guy and I tried my best to ask him for marijuana in hebrew. He didn't understand the word "marijuana," so I said "hash?" He looked at me suspiciously and whispered, "oh, hash?" I said, "yeah, yeah." He told us to follow him to a less crowded place and took out his wallet. At this point I'm thinking, "Wow, that's a weird place to keep your drugs." Then he pulled out his ID that clearly says "Mishtarah," which means police in hebrew. He asked us again, in English, "So, you want hash?" My friend, who didn't understand a word of hebrew at the time said, "Yes! Exactly." Being arrested in a foreign country sucks.
The kids in my high school have of a tradition of asking their dates to prom in extravagant ways. I decided to spell out "PROM?" in Christmas lights on the roof of my 150-year-old church's six-story bell tower. The church youth group director gave me the OK and my friends and I got to work setting up. Now, my church is in a shady part of town. My friends and I (who all went to this church) all had long hair or mohawks, and two of us were wearing leather jackets. We didn't exactly look like altar boys. Someone saw us and called the cops. They said we were robbing the church. Anyway, we were laying down the lights when suddenly the roof was swarming with cops screaming "Hands on your head, motherf***ers!" with guns drawn. They had cuffed us before I could convince them we had permission to be there. The cops called the youth group director, who explained everything. They asked what the Christmas lights were for and I told them. They said it was a great idea and wished me luck with my girl.
One day my friend and I were driving downtown to go to a show. He had the brilliant idea to do fake drive-by shootings with his cap gun. I thought it was stupid, but knew I couldn't stop him. A couple hours later, we were stopped at a red light and four cops in bullet-proof vests came out of nowhere with their guns pointed at our heads. They told us to turn the engine off. I did as I was told. They checked our license plate, said it was the wrong car and left. Later that night, we returned to our car in the parking lot. As soon as I put my hand on the door, eight fully armed cops came out from every angle while two squad cars blocked our exit. They told us to get on the ground, cuffed us, searched us for weapons, then put my friend and I in two separate cars for a half hour until they found the cap gun in our car. It turned out that around the time my friend was playing "Drive-by Shooting," there was an actual drive-by shooting that happened nearby. Someone called the cops on us thinking my friend was shooting an actual gun and so the police made the connection. Our bad.