One year for Halloween, my friend wore his dad's police uniform as his costume. I wore a burglar costume and we went as a duo. Eventually, as these things go, he ended up chasing me down the block, yelling at me to stop running. At the end of the block there were two real police officers. They grabbed me and put me in handcuffs because they saw me running from my friend in a police uniform. He then proceeded to try and talk the real cops out of arresting me by explaining that he wasn't a real cop. Needless to say, his dad and I had to go to the station to get him out jail.
When I was in ninth grade, a few buddies and I were playing street hockey at 9 pm on a weeknight. A cop car pulled up beside where we were playing, stopped and turned on his lights. We weren't sure what we had done, so we just stood there and stared. Then, over the loud speaker, the cop said "got an extra stick?" Then he got out and played for about five minutes before his partner, who had been watching, walked over and whispered something in his ear. He turned to me, handed the hockey stick back and said, "Sorry guys, gotta go to a stabbing."
In high school, I was driving in my hometown and pulled into a parking lot because my windows were foggy. A cop followed me into the lot. When I opened my window, the cop asked if I had been smoking weed and fogging up my windows. In reality, it was cold outside and my friends and I had been playing Dance Dance Revolution earlier, thus making my windows foggy. The cop laughed at our patheticness and let us go.
I had been on my way home from the casino and hadn't realized the speed limit dropped to 30. A cop was stationed right behind the sign and pulled me over. He was a typical hard ass and did the standard "why are you speeding," etc. When he asked me, "where are you coming from?" I replied "the casino." After that he perked up. He started telling me about how he'd been losing an ass-load at the casino lately and asked me how I did. We had actually only gone for the buffet, but I told him I'd lost a lot and sunk my head. He then shared his own casino stories and gave me some encouraging words. He wished me well, said he hoped my luck turned around, and sent me on my way. I really did get lucky that not. I doubt it would have been the same if I said I was returning from the buffet.
When I was 17 I worked at Taco Bell. One night, a few friends and I went to my work for free soda. I was driving. Moments after we pulled out of the parking lot, I saw red and blue lights behind me. I pulled over. The officers began the standard questions. They asked if I knew why they pulled me over. I said no. They told me I was going 55 in a 45 and made an illegal u-turn. Being a young idiot, I retorted, "No I wasn't. My speedometer didn't go over 50, and I went past the illegal u-turn and used the other one. He then asked the dreaded, "Have you been drinking tonight?" Without thinking, I lifted my drink from the cup-holder, held it up and said, "Just Mountain Dew Baja Blast." The officer was nice enough to let me off without any tickets, and gave me some valuable advice, which I still remember to this day. He said, "Don't be such a dumbass next time."
A few years ago, I was driving home and got pulled over for swerving. I hadn't been swerving. I had just looked at the cop while stopped at the light earlier. They ended up searching my truck. When the cop opened my glove box, he was surprised to find a WW2 hand grenade. I'd forgotten it was there. He freaked, pulled out his gun and called the bomb squad. I laughed and told the cop that it was a dud. If he picked it up, he'd clearly see the hole in the bottom of it, but he refused to touch it. When the bomb squad showed up, they saw the hole and laughed. They told the cop not to waste their time with these things. The embarrassed cop immediately sent me on my way.