I offered a pregnant woman a seat on the subway. She refused, but it was for the best. She was probably too big to sit on my lap anyway.
I yelled "It's snowing!" right in the middle of algebra today I was so excited. Then they escorted me off the premises because I'm 25.
You'd think Republicans would approve some of Obama's proposals. At least the ones thought of with the white half of his brain
Going bald at a young age can be tough, but you don't have to do it alone. I just found this really strong support group called "skinheads".
Pokemon Jock JamsBIDOOF! THERE IT IS
Temple of Doom Pickup Line"The second you ripped his heart out was the moment you took hold of mine."
I got 99 problems and being sued for sexual harassment after calling a woman I work with a "bitch" is most of them.
I have no self-control when it comes to food. If it's in front of me, I'm going to make sweet,sweet love to it.