Mumbling is a lot like talking in cursive.
When push comes to shove, you're definitely delivering the baby wrong.
I hate to be a pain in the ass, but I'm all out of lube.
When somebody asks me to turn the dishwasher on, I walk into the kitchen and take my pants off.
I take everything with a grain of salt. Not because I'm a skeptic, but because I have a sodium addiction.
I had nothing to do one day, so I decided to read the Bible. I guess you could call me a "bored again" Christian.
My boyfriend is such a grammar Nazi, I miss one period and he acts like my life is over.
I'm such a feminist that my girlfriend cums on MY tits.