Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Morning After: 24 (2/19)
February 20, 2007
This was pretty much a waste of an episode, truth be told. The main storyline is Jack hanging out with Marilyn and trying to save Josh (his son, for sure) and find his dad. Milo holds off Jack’s dad’s goons long enough for Jack to show up and kill everyone but the guy with the beard, who helps them find out where dad is. Dad is at a hotel chatting with Lil’ Kim, at one point creepily putting a hand on his knee. I was pretty much expecting him to ask the kid if he liked movies about gladiators. Jack puts an unlikely bulletproof flak-tanktop on Marilyn and rolls up to the room. There are some tender moments between Jack and Rena, which probably would have been a lot more tender if Jack hadn’t spent the last two years having his junk
electrocuted by the Chinese. Anyway, Jack gets to the room, only to find that Dad has taken the kid to a roof next door. Jack goes over and tries to sacrifice himself to save the kid, but Dad pusses out and doesn’t kill Jack. Instead, he vanishes and leaves Jack a phone number to call: the number of (wait for it!) ex-president Logan! And he’s got his ex-politician Al Gore beard going! Whatever. I regret knowing about wikipedia, which ruined the half-ass surprise.
Meanwhile, back at the brunker, Lennox sort of looks like he’s going along with the assassination of Palmer, but he’s not, and apparently not slick enough to get past Chad Lowe, who whips him brusquely with a flashlight or something. A gayer fight has never taken place on American television. Looks like the plot is to put an exploding Blackberry in a podium and blow up Palmer at his press conference. The only other news here is that the guy playing Al-Assad kind of looks like the guy that played John Connor in Terminator 3.
The last story going on is that Morris drinks a lot. He’s mopey because he caved after getting holes drilled in him by Fayed and will probably be responsible for millions of deaths, and also he feels like a fag compared to Milo, who has shaved his chest and gotten shot by Dad’s goons. To compensate, Morris skips out of work and shotguns an ass-pocket of whiskey at a Circle K. Back on the job, everyone finds out he’s an alcoholic, something which likely would have been a good thing to know before they gave him the highest security clearance possible ever.
Looks like they’re only giving Marisol Nichols about a minute per hour to work it, but she filled it up pretty well this time. Basically, Nadia rocked the skirt over to Morris to call out the no macho, changing her hairstyle to a possibly Buchanan-tossed muss in the process. Buchanan wisely avoided contact with Nadia, obviously trying to cool himself off in preparation for the arrival of utterly spiceless and certainly bone-dry Karen Fucking Hayes.
While Morris was at the Circle K, he did not drop five bucks on the California lottery. It is impossible to hit a Circle K in California without doing so.
Ethnic stereotype fuckup:
Gredenko, a Russian over the age of eight, has not been shown drinking bottom-shelf vodka out of a coffee mug. No.
The Morning After 24
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