"I cracked the case." detective who just dropped his iPhone
"Those who delete their internet history are doomed to repeat it."
Bragging about being a "real New Yorker" is just an optimistic way of admitting you're poorly traveled.
It turns out my grandfather was lying when he said "I've got your nose!" The nose belonged to a drifter.
Worst Car Game EverI'm thinking of a word between a and z. Ok go.
I'm on a first-name basis with most elderly people. They call me the first name they can think of, and I politely go along with it.
My parents don't approve of me attending culinary school. They think I'm just wasting thyme