CEO: It's time to come up with some new marketing strategies. What can we do to present our truck in the most appealing fashion to consumers?
[room is silent]
CEO: Come on guys, let’s do some brainstorming.
Ad Pitcher #1: Well… we could show practical use of the 84 square feet of compartment space. Maybe show someone loading soccer balls, surfboards, and their entire family into it?
CEO: Eh, maybe. Let’s keep thinking.
Ad Pitcher #2: We could drive through a really muddy, curvy road that —although is quite inefficient— really, really cool looking.
CEO: I like where your head’s at. What else?
Ad Pitcher #1: I really feel we should play up the no APR for 16 months.
CEO: Yeah, I guess. I don’t know what APR even means and I doubt many viewers will either, so that’s just stupid.
Ad Pitcher #1: Oh. It’s pretty standard actually. It stands for Annual—
CEO: Whatevs. Not important. Anyway, Ad pitcher #2, let’s hear what else ya got up your sleeve, baby!
Ad Pitcher #2: Okay… Okay, I got one! There’s five guys offroading in one of our trucks and one guy in the backseat is singing a Shania Twain song and then all of the passengers will be all “WTF” and start giving him weird looks!
Ad Pitcher #1: Shouldn’t we mention something about our truck receiving the first government 5-star safety rating this year?
Ad Pitcher #2: Let’s have the truck drive through a cake. But like… a HUGE fucking cake.
CEO: GOLD. Ad pitcher #1, get Toby Keith’s agent on the phone. If he’s not available, call John Mellencamp and Bob Seger’s people.
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